Rich People Problems-Kwan 2017 (WWT)

know, chee cheong fun.”
“Aiyah, these days with Viagra, even chee cheong fun can become you char kway.” *3
Daisy giggled as she activated the FaceTime function. Nadine’s dramatically made-up face
popped up on screen. “Alamak, Daisy, I’ve been waiting and waiting! Who’s arrived? Who
do you see?”
“Well, your father-in-law is here with your new…er…mother-in-law.”
“Oh, who gives a damn about them! How does Eleanor look? And what’s Astrid
wearing?” Nadine asked.
“Eleanor of course looks great—I think she’s wearing that black Akris suit with notched
lapels she bought when we all went to the Harrods sale a couple of years ago. Astrid
hasn’t arrived yet, or at least I don’t see her anywhere. Oh my goodness! Who’s this? The
Bride of Frankenstein just walked in!”
“What? Who? Hold up your iPad, let me see!” Nadine said excitedly.
Daisy covertly pointed her iPad toward the central aisle. “Alamak, it’s Eddie Cheng’s
wife, the long-suffering Tung girl. She’s dressed up like Queen Victoria in full mourning
garb with a big black hat covered by a floor-length black veil. And oh look, their daughter
is dressed just like her! And the sons are wearing black brocade Nehru jackets. Good grief,
they look like they are in some suicide cult!”
—
Rachel went along with Nick’s parents to the beautifully polished wooden pews reserved
for the family, marveling at the beautiful neo-Gothic features of Singapore’s oldest
cathedral as she walked up the central aisle. Nick meanwhile headed to the chapel behind
the altar to confer with his aunt Victoria, who was in the midst of coordinating all the
speakers. He shook the president’s hand and waited patiently for his marching orders.
Victoria finally noticed him. “Oh Nicky, good, you’re here. Listen, I hope you don’t mind,
but we’ve had to cut your speech from the program. We simply don’t have the time, with
everyone needing to speak.”
Nick stared at her in dismay. “You’re not serious?”
“I’m afraid I am. Please understand, we’re already running overtime. We have three
pastors speaking, the Sultan of Borneo, and the president. And then the Thai ambassador
has a special message to deliver, and we also have to fit in Eddie’s song—”
“Eddie’s going to sing?” Nick was incredulous.
“Oh yes. He’s been rehearsing a special hymn all week with a very special guest
musician who’s just flown in.”
“So let me understand this: We have six people giving speeches, but no one from the
family will actually get a chance to speak about Ah Ma?”
“Well, there’s also been a last-minute addition. Henry Leong Jr. has decided to give a
speech.”
“Henry Junior? But he barely knows Ah Ma. He’s spent most of his life in Malaysia