Rich People Problems-Kwan 2017 (WWT)

“Well, you can’t blame her for thinking that. We all know this isn’t Nicky’s problem—
he’s got great genes,” Lorena said.
“What is wrong with you people?” Rachel seethed.
Eleanor suddenly stood up and began shouting. “What is wrong? Look at my hands,
Rachel. They are empty!” She thrust her open palms out. “Why am I not getting to cradle
a baby? It’s been more than two years now, five if you count how long you’ve been
sleeping with my son! So where’s my grandchild? How much longer are these hands
going to be cold and empty?”
“Eleanor, THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU! Nick and I will have a child when we are good and
ready!” Rachel yelled back.
Daisy spoke up in defense of her friend. “Don’t be so selfish, Rachel! You and Nicky
have had your fun! It’s time to do your duty and give Eleanor a grandchild now! How
many more years do she and Philip have to enjoy their grandchildren? The next time I see
you in Singapore, I want you to be holding a big bouncy baby!”
Rachel was outraged. “Do you think it’s that easy? I just snap my fingers and a baby will
magically appear?”
“Of course! It’s soooo easy to have babies these days!” Nadine exclaimed. “I mean, my
Francesca didn’t even have to get pregnant herself. She was so scared of getting stretch
marks, she hired a pretty girl from Tibet to carry the baby. The day after Joshie was born
she was already off to some party in Rio!”
Carol tried to step in. “Ladies, let’s not get too worked up. I think we should all say a
prayer together—”
“You want a prayer? I’ll give you a prayer. Dear Lord, thank you for getting me the fuck
out of here. Amen!” Rachel said, storming out of the room.
*1 Singapore’s impressive Electronic Road Pricing system (ERP), used to manage road congestion, has also led to
impressive levels of bitching from citizens.
*2 Ah Meng was an irrepressible orangutan that was for many years in the 1980s the star attraction of the Singapore
Zoo.
*3 A sweet rolled pancake filled with coconut palm sugar that, because of the way the pancake is folded at the ends, just
happens to resemble a small uncircumcised penis.