Rich People Problems-Kwan 2017 (WWT)

“But that doesn’t necessarily mean she won’t be there. I heard she got back to
Singapore two days ago. It was mentioned in Honey Chai’s gossip blog: ‘Countess of
Palliser is staying at the Raffles Hotel.’ Did she leave her orangutans to come to the
funeral?”
Oliver rolled his eyes in exasperation. “There is no way Colette or Lady Mary or
whatever she calls herself these days will be anywhere near that funeral. I promise.”
“I guess I’ll go spend the day on Tatiana Saverin’s new yacht then. She says it was
designed by the same guy that did Giorgio Armani’s boat.”
“Yes, it is a beautiful day for sailing. Why don’t you slip on your sexiest Eres bikini, put
on your sailing diamonds, and spend the day sipping Aperol spritzes on a yacht? Stop
wasting your precious time thinking about this dreary funeral that I wish I didn’t have to
attend!” (Oliver lied. As much as he adored Su Yi, he had to admit that today was truly
going to be the social event of the century.)
“Okay, okay.” Kitty laughed and hung up.
Oliver leaned against his bathroom sink, methodically patting some Floris aftershave
on his cheeks and throat. The phone rang again.
“Hello, Kitty.”
“What are sailing diamonds? Do I need to get some?”
“It’s just an expression, Kitty. I made it up.”
“But do you think I should wear a diamond necklace with my bikini? I could put on my
Chanel Joaillier diamonds, the one in the sunburst floral pattern. Diamonds are
waterproof, aren’t they?”
“Of course. Go for it. I have to run now, Kitty, or I’m going to be late for the funeral.”
Two seconds after hanging up, Oliver’s mother, Bernadette, walked into the bathroom.
“Mother, I’m not dressed!” Oliver groaned, tightening the towel around his waist.
“Hiyah, what do you have that I haven’t already seen? Tell me, is this okay?”
Oliver scrutinized his sixty-nine-year-old mother, slightly annoyed by the graying roots
that were showing on the top of her head. Her Beijing hairdresser really wasn’t doing a
good job maintaining her color. Bernadette, who was born a Ling, came from a family
where all the women were renowned for their beauty. Unlike her sisters or her cousins—
Jacqueline Ling being the prime example, who appeared preternaturally preserved—
Bernadette looked her age. Actually, in the tailored dark blue silk brocade suit with the
ribbon tie at the collar, she looked older. This is what happens when you spend twentyfive
years toiling away in China, Oliver thought to himself.
“Is this the only dark dress you brought with you?”
“No, I brought three dresses, but I already wore the other two during the night visits.”
“Then I suppose this one will have to do. Did your tailor in Beijing make this one for
you?”
“Aiyah, this one was very pricey compared to my Beijing tailor! Mabel Shang’s girl in
Singapore made this for me more than thirty years ago. It’s a copy of some famous Paris