Rich People Problems-Kwan 2017 (WWT)

CHAPTER ELEVEN
28 CLUNY PARK ROAD, SINGAPORE
Nigel Barker had photographed some of the most famous and beautiful women in the
world, from Iman to Taylor Swift. But he’d never had a subject fly him halfway around the
world in their personal Boeing 747-81 VIP before, and he had never gotten a lymphatic
drainage massage and a seaweed exfoliating body wrap in a private spa on a private jet.
Naturally, when he arrived at Kitty Bing’s gracious heritage bungalow on 28 Cluny Park
Road with his team of four photo assistants, there was yet another never-beforewitnessed
drama unfolding.
A Chinese man wearing a deconstructed black Moroccan djellaba was standing on the
front driveway, screaming, “CHUAAAAA​AAAAA​N! Where the fuck did you put the Oscar de la
Renta? If you didn’t pack it, I’m going to fucking skin you alive! CHUAAAAAAAAAN!” As he
yelled, he bounced several inches off the ground, looking like a deranged Jedi.
Twenty feet from the main house, a huge tent had been set up, and Nigel could see
dozens of fashion assistants in white lab coats rushing from the house to the tent with
various bits of clothing, while another set of assistants within the tent were going through
the rolling racks filled with hundreds of ball gowns straight from the Paris catwalks. A guy
in a white denim zip-up jumpsuit came running out of the tent. “We’re still steaming it! It
just arrived from New York thirty minutes ago!”
“Ka ni nah! I need the dress now, you good-for-nothing goondu!” *
Nigel approached the ranting Jedi warily. “I’m assuming this is the location for the
Tattle photo shoot?”
“Wah laooooo!” The man gasped, putting his hands to his mouth. He suddenly stood
ramrod straight, his face went from manic to Zen in a nanosecond, and his speech took on
a pseudo-English-meets-Eurotrash accent. “Nigel Barker, it’s really you! Merde! You are
even more dashing in person! How is that possible? I’m Patric, the couture consultant.
I’m styling the shoot today.”
“Pleasure to meet you,” Nigel replied in a real English accent.
Patric kept staring Nigel up and down. “It’s an honor to be working with you! I’ve
worked with Mert and Marcus, Ines and Vinoodh, Bruce and Nan, Alexis and Tico, I’ve