Happiful September 2020

The power of stepping out of
your comfort zone…
We all want to feel safe, and secure. But as our columnist
Grace Victory reveals, if life is feeling stagnant, stepping into
the unknown could be both energising, and rewarding
with Grace
If I look back on my almost 30
years of life, there is so much
to be grateful for. But I am
definitely the type of person
who rarely stops to celebrate my
achievements, because when
I’ve accomplished one thing, I
immediately move on to the next.
However, the pattern that I’ve
noticed with my successes –
whether big or small – is that
more often than not, to achieve
whatever I have achieved, I had
to step out of my comfort zone.
And if I’m being totally honest,
sometimes I’m dragged out of my
comfort zone by my therapist, and
sometimes I leap!
Maybe you can relate? It pains
me to admit that while I regard
myself as quite adaptable, there
are certain experiences relating
to my childhood trauma that have
affected my ability to make adult
decisions, and experience growth
in certain areas of my life.
I took me two years to make a
career change, because I simply
wasn’t sure if it was the right thing
to do. I knew I felt stuck and that I
needed a change, but to muster up
the courage to do so... well, it took
me longer than I’d like to admit.
But in other areas of my life, I can
swiftly move on, and alter the
direction of my path.
I guess it’s also dependent on
whether or not I feel in control –
buckle up for some serious truths!
Have I told you about my issues
with control? Not the control
that polices people, or screams
at my boyfriend that he can’t go
out. I’m talking about the kind of
control where if something out of
the ordinary happens during my
usual routine, I will immediately
feel stressed. I used to use food
to feel a sense of calm, because
everything else in my life felt
chaotic. Control, and a person’s
need for it, isn’t always obvious;
sometimes control works in
manipulative and subtle ways, but
the crux is always to feel safe.
Staying within comfort zones
creates a sense of safety and
security, because the box we or
others have placed us in, is what
we’re used to. For nearly all of
us, our comfort zones begin as
children, often residing within
our subconscious. Take playing in
the park. Some toddlers can climb
about, and go down big slides,
without a care in the world, while
Change is full of
vulnerability and
uncertainty, but
without those
things, how will
you ever know
courage?
others will be petrified and stick to
playing in the sandpit. Or perhaps
as a child you were boisterous and
unafraid to try new things, but
growing up, an authority figure
made you feel inferior, so now you
only stick to what you know.
Whatever the reasons may be,
comfort zones may make you feel
safe, but they also play a part in
you feeling stagnant, bored, and
unmotivated.
“A redirection to a new life means
a rejection of your current life” –
you can quote me on that.
Listen, rejection isn’t always bad.
Making changes rarely leads to
a catastrophe, even if your mind
tells you it will. Comfort zones