Happiful September 2020

I truly believe that if, at
the time of my mental
breakdown in 2008,
more research had
been done to find the
links between mental
health breakdowns due
to trauma as a baby,
my journey would have
been very different
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@flosharman, and find out more
about MQ at mqmentalhealth.org
I know how valuable
research is, and how
beneficial it would have
been for me.
I went from being an
eight-year-old girl who had
everything to look forward
to in life, to an eight-yearold
terrified of absolutely
everything, not wanting
to live, thinking society
was better off without
me, nearly sectioned but
my mother fought for
this not to happen, and
I’m forever grateful she
did. My childhood was
taken away from me in
a matter of moments,
as I was excluded from
my primary school due
to my mental health, as
they had no training or
understanding of how to
deal with someone in a
mental health crisis.
To this day, I still get the
symptoms that happened
on the night that my
life changed forever.
The blindness, pins and
needles, and headaches;
these attacks happen
around four or five times
a year, and I don’t know
when they are coming,
but I get on with my life. I
don’t let it define me, just
like I don’t let my mental
illnesses define me. I now
know I’m on a lifelong
mental health journey,
and I’m now not ashamed
or embarrassed about
that – in fact I’m incredibly
proud, as it’s made me. I
just wish I had found this
out so much sooner than
2017! But I bet you can all
guess why it took me 10
years to not feel ashamed
of experiencing mental
illness – the stigma, of
course. I hope in my
lifetime this stigma ends.
Now you’re probably
all wondering how I
overcame this mighty
hurdle the world decided
to throw me. It has not
been easy, and there have
been so many things that
I have had to get through
and continue to battle to
this day, but what I can
say is that I am beyond
proud of the person I’ve
become. I truly believe
that everything I’ve been
through has shaped the
person I am today. Life is
a rollercoaster, and it’s one
we have to ride – the good
and the bad. In the early
days of my mental health
crisis, it was all lows and
no highs. Now it’s an even
balance, and I know the
bad times make the great
times even greater.
The key things that have
got me to where I am
today, and continue to
help me on my lifelong
mental health journey,
are my amazing support
network that loves me
for who I am and never
88 • happiful.com • September 2020