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02.17.1942 thru 01.26.1945.pdf - The Lowell

02.17.1942 thru 01.26.1945.pdf - The Lowell

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-THIS WILL<br />

KILL YOU,<br />

HA! HA!<br />

SAN FRANCISCO'S ONLY' DISOWNED NEWSPAPER<br />

MCMXUI;? 'ffU> 0' Somewhere in Kallfornla, late In March<br />

/Looking<br />

Around'<br />

' By Frank PJorabo<br />

Don't worry folks. Even though<br />

you can't rccognixe the paper. It<br />

is really <strong>The</strong> <strong>Lowell</strong>. And those<br />

rciewy stories and pajre makeup<br />

were not mistuke* on the part of<br />

the printer. No, It's our one and<br />

r' ly humiir edition. We hope you<br />

h > it.<br />

... f:<br />

Founded 1400; B. C<br />

Graff Expose Shocks StudentBcjdp<br />

Caught in <strong>The</strong> Act!<br />

Attor'y Milfer Charge*<br />

PreXy with E,mb*2zzleml\t<br />

Blasted from its rock-bottom tradition yesterday wag San<br />

Francisco's oldest and highest regarded prep school.<br />

Shocking revelation of graft in the student body association<br />

of I-owoll High held faithful members awe-stricken.<br />

Investigation of the recent "<strong>Lowell</strong> Defense Tax." paid<br />

JOL'ItSAl. CAITUIIES FIRST<br />

upon the purchase of n student body card, revealed that the<br />

PRIZE AT CONVENTION<br />

fund* entered no defense charity<br />

<strong>The</strong> Red and White, which you<br />

l J<br />

were so fortunate to buy lost<br />

jiuin<br />

term, had new honors henned upon<br />

: MOJJOUIOI jnj j in ion liooq ttut( tttjJX<br />

it. At the University of Califor-<br />

' 'ajiujan w| udn<br />

nia Annual Pics* Convention Inn<br />

week-end, our year book walked<br />

away with first place honor*—o<br />

handsome plaque. Nice<br />

Kant:. Oh yen, the nnpi-r was rep- j<br />

renvMed at Berkeley by einhl I<br />

members of the staf.*. All nre ex- [<br />

JMTIWI to recover noon.<br />

# aip IU«MII»J other thon Prexy Williiims* noeket<br />

O Cj snd then came to a dead - end.<br />

^William* hod bought o couple of<br />

ttJX drrupitntcd fish for Kin ret trained<br />

3uij 0UI| l Dcfcnue? Yen, Williams'<br />

|»|U<br />

you n<br />

the fdood l>nt)k<br />

will trlndly rcpiVr it with Fume donated<br />

by Mrs. Jordan.<br />

ALL YOL' IIIUINS<br />

Northwestern University hn«<br />

ichL,l*?u n n < io W inf lw' .iw! 1 KACfLTV ItKI'ltKSKNTHII<br />

IN IIKKKNSK I'ICOCIIAM | Cninwmr T,«,l,-v Is »rrn •>„,.,• .rrivinc ju»l in tlmr In null ctllpriN '<br />

p<br />

» you worry when nn nir rniil < Have Willinm. Irfl. nnd I'nul lltippor in Iheft «f l)rfcn«i* Jlond* frum '_....,<br />

alarm rmir«? t)o.-« your lirart! "•»<br />

You,<br />

'<br />

School imtilute thl» aummer. Thi»<br />

cr.,up rcprewntinir the t i '<br />

t u l t l hfch<br />

1 *" M| ...._,.. Mm uodn 'SUIJ aui|j3 seal.<br />

|VM| am jo J4p«4] at{i VUJBJJ|)« <<br />

«•'*: TiwjM U «l«r wllnnw in thr prmrclilliinV njalw to]' . Mrs. Jordan nnd<br />

Miss Carojynn II. Id'cdeman Jire<br />

l»uth air nild warden instruct on*<br />

Mr. II. Karpoiutein in a fire warden.<br />

And If any of you should<br />

own defense from beinjr liquidated<br />

p^iujuiuioj u'('Ap\' *p.|) *Au«d by hi* starved playmate!)<br />

-wo;) uwq u JOJ iv.i o) nn wo-tj Fund* Traced<br />

X9WK am jiojjon u*U 'II -toil *H <strong>The</strong> probe, which Is bclnir enjriajg<br />

dtp wop nv tu[jjiiM iHpiicujj neeri'd by Honest Dan Miller and<br />

jno.< II 1 J° 1O.C K»AJ|[JJ 3U]pK]i|3,h{K jfrtiepome colleague. Key-hole<br />

jnq *X^|ad »t»q aqi sf )tuuo]i., [Toolcy, made public further infor-<br />

1u»u»ists .HUiBiiHAV mation on the wheareaboutx of<br />

•ttuiuiiu.w pun'collections made by and for the<br />

•umtM.mi.aj xii i student association.<br />

•jn»s:<br />

Twelve nnd one half dollars allowed<br />

Treasurer Hopper for erection<br />

of a billboard at Fifth and<br />

•p,r\ouMJ<br />

Mnrket Street* publicizing the stu-<br />

VxM«H<br />

Icnt t body by card cad sale e was a traced (racd to t<br />

r\ jo |mi<br />

iU final reHtintr place in the treaaor>*<br />

of Boon Sister*, exclusive<br />

-MOM putt HUIOOJ Jd U| KUOfl tiports tpt apparel ppa pare siiop- (Have you<br />

noticed tid Hu H Ickie Murder;'<br />

-30(103 ai{i (,,ino<br />

titj.iui<br />

Hunjrry flopper'ji new<br />

moleskin puunts?<br />

Priccil $l±50 at<br />

j.w pun) mo {k'tjjj<br />

BBoos' ' complete l with h free f Cuba Cb Li- U<br />

Blonde Galore _<br />

bras in the Cellar Salon.)<br />

Aid lo Leaders<br />

Move<br />

.(l Conspiring with Williams and<br />

•dot uj(K)j wnoucA |<br />

In lh«- mrrry. mi-rry nionlli ^ ^ ^ ^ ,itlle • ISIoIsy Genii in Hi3's<br />

hu Bt'ta nn attack nf KpniDf nicetivM of an nir*rufd,. we, think ( o l o 9 IflSt'S U S<br />

fi-ver. <strong>The</strong>y Hav the cun- for >*«'" shmild first know the<br />

'Swing it'<br />

Were Hot certain, because we<br />

K|irn,i- fever in to take 11 done of didn't near jnformeil a thint;. u« that but an some! air<br />

In Los Angeles<br />

Btilphiir and htolaMM. Some peo- *>n»»thi*' mid tit ulwiiyK informed preceded us thnt.anairt by loud •<br />

pie do mid mime ' don't. It!],ur|w.<br />

on whether they like it or- Thp»p are not jui*t to ncnd nhivnot.<br />

'vnt up your npinr. or to make ynur<br />

(lettine hnrk to the ynunc man. \ ^'f Jjf,""^ '""" r " t * : th X y hv\t ti^r<br />

UC* see whrrv did we leave him? vnu*<br />

your ni,.^,.,.^,,^ mrnmri pU^urf, iV the<br />

1'or.lun u». a minute ptcaw, while Ivy n, il.l.<br />

^ "'*""* "" '" ""' fin " f '" W n " 1 '"-1 l ' l '" r ' V " nH<br />

"MERLIN DIARY"<br />

By Sillimnn Dwyer<br />

Blood clots on the battle-j<br />

fields of Red Russia! j One for the money, two for<br />

Australian* Keek shelter]the show, three to get ready<br />

from bursting bombs! j. , , . and we're off to<br />

it prr. l» the Cho.sen correspondents p wit-] that gala fest, festival, the High g<br />

code »rt do«n «« ness these international Three Shindig lf« at the Coco-<br />

. - T''^ '" *""<br />

rcprewnnir the n a t i o , „ „ hol „„ ,„,, „ h<br />

jnit ulentnl hfch Khool »tu- nhur nnd molaxcs. lint »om.- |.eo- l,eit Wat. Oh. well, anjway Jt'»' _ [r:|.c<br />

dent., will hav,. one of the peak e«- „,„,,„„., |||,c »u||,hur »d«ln«w, a »iren. • l<br />

M '- strugslus. But of far greater nut Grove thfc. year (reduced ratci<br />

"Vn" I" """ "T",*'"^ , HZZ HZ'"Z" "h'JZ'J hJZJ and t.-o \ \ consequences consequences are the affairs affairs you kno»-«ur hiEh threo<br />

officer.<br />

er. Thi» »«»• '""»«»• '">« ««-t»'nir cf nnd calihaRC. Knives<br />

—an iron lung!<br />

•ret fichty and death nttc rises.<br />

<strong>The</strong> fighting Irish arc victorious<br />

Commented Sloppe, "Priorities m* no priorities, I'll show with drooling victirrw in every<br />

comer.<br />

MAIIC1I 19—Staff dwindle*. Four<br />

Flash . . . Commerce High, San<br />

more journalUtK hlle the dust'<br />

and die of acutr Indiftextion.<br />

<strong>The</strong> Associated Students of this fine institution nre to- With hammer In one hand and<br />

day calling n huge rally in an effort to raise funds to fix the Klckle in the other the Managing<br />

Editor Mpcak* and Commutibim!<br />

roof of their recently caved-in classroom.<br />

lurkii on the horiion. HIM re-|<br />

Student body President Jaspar Gee): announced that the vesting wordii were, kawotc—<br />

I'll be ltl-:i>-dy whrn you ComJ<br />

school "will band together in a concerted effort to hit the IIADK—unkawote.<br />

50% mark In S. B. cord sales." Proceeds of the drive will be ] MARCH -"^rCommunism ha«_arused<br />

to buy materials to repair the collapsed ceiling.<br />

rived. Following luitily is Fas-1<br />

cutm In person of the Kdltor-in-<br />

Sturdy Block "C" men. who have been holding up their Chicf. "We've done it ajniln,"<br />

run-down roof during recitation periods, commented,<br />

so speaks the Editor. Communism<br />

and Fascist* clash. Score<br />

: £; "A little faster on the plaster, Jaspitr."<br />

31-10 In favor of the Communist*.<br />

(Editor hit a f/ist one<br />

thi-uujth the left-field window<br />

_. *•:'>. Alcatrsz, California ... .; and Inquisitively tried to follow<br />

It was reporter here, today; by unreliable sources that I it.) Glass Bill: $086 KOvern-<br />

•/Kill Somebody,, America*s,,foremost murderer, wns throwi.* raent, federal and state, and syn<br />

tar Included. .<br />

into Ktlitary ^onfinsinent yesterday. It seems that he was<br />

v" , •<br />

MARCH 21—S'jff deleted. Publl-<br />

caught cheating in a game of solitaire: ,<br />

cnUon r - Urunhing Shoulderj<br />

Your hiwtwu »nd hiMtit, Pat<br />

Krill. Stan Dcforde. and Ken Me-<br />

I-cllUn greet you with happy<br />

mnlle*. You nmEle beck dazedly<br />

and nail onto the dance floor. Iroagine<br />

brutthing tdiauldvn. with the<br />

BUTE!!<br />

What a program! To play for<br />

the firet half hour will ill be Glen<br />

Mill Miller, and d you fl float Into to your r<br />

partner's arm* for the first dance<br />

—that luscious melody "Moonlight<br />

Cocktail."<br />

Before you realize It. OCavler<br />

Cugat rcplacen smooth Miller and<br />

you swine into that tantalizing; bit<br />

bUHlnrMit*iikc proportion* what of rhythm, "<strong>The</strong> Rumba Cttrai."<br />

with a referred prize-fight In Maeiriro Autocraphi<br />

the Sport* Department, a Fin- In quirk succmslon nwlon follow follo Count<br />

xerina Content judging In the Kasir. Freddie Martin, Mi and Benny<br />

Feature* Department, and a re- Goodman. Of course, you Ret all<br />

enactment of the I'earl Harbor their autographs. i<br />

attack, realistically presented All too Koon the danreii come*<br />

'•' the ral-a-tat-tat of ma lo an end and you find yourself<br />

outside once more In the cool,<br />

Factor*!! ttweet, frasranee af a Ilollywood<br />

nlsht.<br />

<strong>The</strong> moon . . , . t^e «tar»<br />

. . . .the heady scent t. * mas*<br />

notfa bloHsomit . . . . the<br />

dream of your Ufa beside you. Ah<br />

heaven.<br />

p ioe t v<br />

Xtpuiuu.—ES U<br />

\\lt\y j<br />

; IH*tV ->*<br />

date canceled. ..<br />

JI O Hall, Snow or Sun<br />

*V Windy Hygrometer, a user ot<br />

X d biff wortlfl. was taking a stroll by<br />

his favorite rendezvous, the Wet<br />

f i?I Weather River. - He stumbled over<br />

J»IP«m« HI-01<br />

**X Mil ;o Xrp iit»— L<br />

I imlv J9U» jt«(l—z iM<br />

^tta •.100JTI1«V— I'lHdV<br />

i " 1bi L tl ! b 'Adolescent," asked Windy, '"are<br />

you not;, endeavoring v_to Jnduer<br />

members of the finny tribe-to engulf<br />

Into their dentfcuIatedjnonUu<br />

A barbed nook, upon which 'you<br />

have affixed a dainty altor«meat?"<br />

:<br />

"Naw," /laiil the kid. "I'm<br />

flhi'^*<br />

'

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