Горизонт N1/830

RUSSIAN DENVER
Colorado Russian Newspaper published in English 720-436-7613 www.gorizont.com/rd
The Secret to Dating a Busy Partner
Your partner’s full schedule
doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
Keep the romance flowing with
understanding. Here’s the secret
to dating a busy partner.
People often have this notion
that what makes relationships
thrive is always spending
time together. Every day we see
lovestruck duos on social media
who travel, eat, and go on
exotic adventures hand in hand.
They’re all beautiful, but unfortunately,
many couples today live
miles apart and cannot share in
similar activities.
Another common obstacle to
picture-perfect moments such as
these is time itself.
Millennials in particular,
thrive on full schedules. They
chase careers, build businesses,
and transfer to new locations on
a whim. If you’re one of those
people in a relationship with a
perpetually busy person, it’s natural
to feel left out. These emotions
are totally normal, particularly
for individuals who crave a
lot of togetherness and physical
intimacy.
So what do you do when your
partner asks for a night with the
boys? Or what if she cancels your
dinner date because of an unscheduled
board meeting?
The first thing you need to
remember is to NOT let your
time go to waste–use it wisely by
living the full life you want, too!
Here are several suggestions.
Meet-up with friends.
When we first get into a relationship
(especially during the
“honeymoon phase”), we often
forget to hang-out with old
friends. They might be understanding
of our situation, but at
some point, we need to include
them back in our lives to retain
their trust. So if your lover goes
on an unscheduled overtime, call
up a friend and catch up on old
times. Invite them over for tea or
simply chat them up online.
Again: it’s perfectly normal to
feel disappointed at first because
you were expecting them to be
by your side. Just don’t forget
there are other people in your
life who are just as important.
Go out and move.
Sometimes, the answer is as
simple as going out the door. Angry
because your weekend camping
trip is cancelled because of a
board meeting? Was she late for
your Friday Netflix movie marathon?
Walk it off. According to
the Anxiety and Depression Association
of America (ADAA),
even just five minutes of physical
activity is enough to release
endorphins in our body. These
chemicals are
natural painkillers
that reduce
stress and
improve sleep.
Take a quick
jog around the
park or walk
briskly towards
a nearby coffee
shop. You’ll get
your daily dose
of healthy exercise, plus you’ll
feel better, too!
Get back into a hobby or develop
one.
I am in one of those relationships
that presents double the
challenge: not only is my partner
away from me, but we’re both
super busy most of the time.
Believe it or not, what keeps us
close are our individual hobbies
(he’s into keeping aquariums and
I love baking).
Doing stuff that you enjoy–
whether or not it’s the same
with your partner’s–is a great
way to ease off feelings of being
burned out, and keeps us productive.
Sometimes, we’re just
overwhelmed with everything in
our lives (yes, including our relationships).
Our hobbies act as a
healthy way to recover from that,
while providing awesome topics
to talk about.
Keep a journal or blog.
My career usually requires
me to work longer hours. My
boyfriend often comes home
early and waits for me until I can
call. During this time, he likes
to write his novel and then later
tells me his progress. Of course,
you don’t need to resort to writing
full-length pieces, but a simple
journal or online blog should
keep you busy while you wait for
your partner. Write down your
thoughts, fears, date ideas, experiences,
and dreams.
If you want, you could even
share them with the world so
that other people could learn
from you! Speaking of date
ideas…
Plan exciting dates.
That’s right. While your significant
other is busy, use this as
the best opportunity to prepare
surprise date ideas. Go ahead
and scroll through Pinterest
without fear (because they won’t
be looking!). If a birthday or an
anniversary is on its way, use this
time to plan ahead. Create a list
of things you want to do together
but haven’t found the chance to
do so. Then start making calls,
booking rooms, or buying tickets.
Once they’re back from their
alone-time, they’ll be thrilled
with your surprise!
If you don’t keep yourself
preoccupied, you’ll just end up
feeling bad and sulking at home.
Who wants that? Every person
is different, but we each have
our own levels of need for a little
“me-time”. Learn to accept this
and be patient in finding out
what works for both of you.
My boyfriend and I, for instance,
are okay with set schedules
so we have time for each
Does Owning a Pet Make You a Better Date?
23
other as well as our hobbies. On
Sunday mornings, I usually let
him write his novel while I experiment
with baking. But by the
afternoon, we should be ready to
spend time together on Skype.
Every couple is unique: and the
fun lies in discovery!
Extend a Little Understanding
There is no secret to lasting
relationships.
Sometimes, plans change.
People change. You may feel
frustrated now because your
lover wasn’t so busy before. Or
you’re probably wondering why
she seems to be taking up too
much time away from you. These
are to be expected in relationships–especially
long-term ones.
However, if you’re really in love,
you would understand.
Clich? as it may sound, but
this is when communication and
an open mind becomes vital.
Talk to them: what are their priorities
now? Do they still intend
to include you in their future?
What are their plans? If they love
you just as much, they would
be willing to compromise with
you so the relationship remains
stable. If they explain that they’re
aiming for a better career or that
they’ll be busy due to business,
then be understanding.
Think about it: if you were in
their shoes, wouldn’t you want to
be understood in the same way?
Perhaps the best gift we could give
someone, is the confidence that
we’ll always be there for them–no
matter what they choose.
By: Lisa Kaplan Gordon
When I was dating Greg,
meeting the pets was a big step
in our courtship. I had two cats,
Fonzie and Blaze, and he had a
5-year-old cocker spaniel, Sable.
Greg met the cats when he
picked me up for our first date,
and they got along fine, even
though he wasn’t a cat person.
But when he took me home to
meet his dog three dates later,
things didn’t go as smoothly.
I knew how much Sable meant
to Greg–he won custody during
his divorce–and I wanted to like
the dog and have her like me. But
when I offered to take Sable for a
walk as Greg made dinner–I like
guys who cook–the pooch wasn’t
so sure.
As soon as we walked down
the steps, she started glancing
backwards, wondering if her dad
would be coming, too. When we
were halfway down the block,
Sable realized she was walking
with a stranger and
reversed course. No
amount of coaxing
and cooing could
stem her panic. So,
we returned home
about 5 minutes after
we started.
“What happened?”
asked
Greg, anxious that
this new woman, whom he liked,
was not hitting it off with this
dog, whom he loved.
“She wants her Dad,” I said,
trying not to show how freaked
out I was at this unsuccessful
first dog date.
My concern, it turns out, was
well-founded. Researchers say
that pets, increasingly considered
family members, are becoming
relationship barometers.
A recent study published in Anthrozoos
journal showed that
women, more than men, pay
attention to the way a date interacts
with her pet.
“Women seemed to rely upon
cues of how a partner interacted
with a pet more than did
men in determining whether or
not the prospective partner was
worth dating or considering for
a longer-term relationship,”? the
study found.
Here are more conclusions of
the pet-dating study conducted
4 Scientifically Proven Tips to Improve Your Happiness
by lead researcher Peter B. Gray
of the University of Nevada.
· Dogs are better than
cats for assessing a date’s caregiving
abilities.
· Men, more than women,
use a pet to attract a potential
date.
· Women, more than
men, are attracted to someone
because they have a pet.
· Both men and women
in equal numbers have used a pet
as an excuse to leave a bad date
early.
By the time Greg proposed,
Sable and I had became good
pals–and the cats tolerated their
new dog sibling as well.
By: Jordyn Cormier
Everyone wants to be happy
in their lives, but it isn’t always
easy. If you’re looking for some
foolproof ways to improve your
life, here are 4 scientific tips on
how to boost happiness, starting
in your brain.
Experience gratitude. Studies
have shown time and time again
that expressing gratitude and
humility for the good qualities in
your life can make you happier
on a chemical level. Gratitude
stimulates the brain to create
dopamine and feel-good neurotransmitter,
serotonin.
Express your emotions.
Whether it’s through verbal language,
writing or some other
form of art, expressing what
your innermost feelings are can
have an instant effect on your
life outlook. Often, our deepest
emotions can get blurred while
they’re still whirling around
in our minds. Expressing your
emotions allows you to put everything
into perspective.
Give up perfection. While
worrying about your problems
can seem productive– at least it’s
on your mind, right?– it gets you
nowhere in the long run. Instead
of struggling and stressing over
making the best decision possible,
you are far better off making
any decision rather than worrying
over it. Making a decision
moves you forwardAn active decision
also increases dopamine
production, meaning it actually
makes you happier, regardless of
what you have decided.
Enjoy human touch. Human
contact is a powerful force in the
body. It can boost the immune
system, increase trust, improve
learning and– you guessed it–
boost your happiness and wellbeing.
Human touch like a hug
releases oxytocin in the brain,
which actually works to facilitate
intimacy and social bonding.
Feeling like you have a network
of trustworthy people around
you can do wonders to improve
your happiness. Go for long
hugs, if appropriate.
Being happy starts in the brain.
By being true to yourself and
others, you can live a happier
life, accompanied by other great
side effects– like stronger social
connections, stronger feelings of
self-worth and a more positive
outlook on life.