Saving Fish from Drowning - Heal Burma

SAVING FISH FROM DROWNING
pet names—Our Great Leader, Our Lovely Lady, Our Nature Lover,
Our Scientist, Our Doctor, Our Resident Genius, Our Roving Photog­
rapher, and the like—the same stock descriptions he assigned to
all guests to make them feel special. He never remembered actual
names.
Heinrich had managed a five-star beach resort in Thailand for a
number of years—I went there twice myself—but then it was discov­
ered that three tourists over the previous six months had died not of
misadventure, heart attack, and drowning, respectively, as the death
certificates had indicated, but of jellyfish stings. The place was
closed down after the demise of the third victim, the son of an Amer­
ican congresswoman. After that, Heinrich surfaced in some directo­
rial capacity for a luxury hotel in Mandalay. I ran into him there, and
he acted as if I were his long-lost friend. He called me “Our Dear Art
Professor.” And then he wrote down the name of a restaurant he de­
scribed as the “utmost.” His moist palm encircled my elbow, rubbing
it as he might a lover’s, as he told me in confidential tones that he
would inform the maître d’ that my companions and I were coming.
“How many of you are there? Six? Perfect! The best table with the
best view shall be reserved, and I shall join you and would be hon­
ored to have you as my guests.”
How could we refuse? How bad could a free lunch be? We went.
He was unctuous and jovial as we perused the menu. He called out
the specialties we should order, and to hell with the bloody cost, it
was his treat. By the second course, he was blustery and loudly sen­
timental about Grindelwald, his birthplace, it seemed. He began
singing a Swiss German yodeling song, “Mei Biber Hendel,” that
sounded like a chicken clucking. A table full of Thai businessmen
seated nearby cast sideways glances and made “tut-tut” comments in
low voices. The end was signaled by his head lowering until his fore­
head rested on the table, and that was where it remained until wait­
ers arrived and lifted him by his armpits, then dragged him to his
211