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Saving Fish from Drowning - Heal Burma

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SAVING FISH FROM DROWNING<br />

<strong>from</strong> her. His abrasiveness drove others away. She could not share her<br />

successes with him, because he reacted only with terse comments—<br />

“Another one for the trophy case”—and that angered her and made<br />

her think that all they shared were different disappointments.<br />

Dwight sensed what Roxanne was thinking. The thought of his<br />

marriage’s ending both scared and saddened him, but he could not<br />

tell her that. Early in their relationship, he had wanted to protect<br />

her—emotionally—and he knew she needed that, even though she<br />

appeared strong to others. But she had rebuffed his efforts, maybe<br />

unknowingly, and he felt useless, then a stranger, alone. She wanted<br />

so little of him. He wasn’t as smart as she was, not as strong, not<br />

even as athletic. Her disdain had been evident on this trip. She never<br />

wanted his help or suggestions. If she didn’t reject his ideas outright,<br />

she was quietly unsupportive. He could see it in her eyes. She was<br />

tender only when he was weak, when he was sick.<br />

After their rescue, neither of them spoke about the inevitable, yet<br />

they felt it sharply, the lack of jubilation in at last being alone to­<br />

gether. They made separate arrangements: she caught a plane back<br />

to San Francisco, and he went to Mandalay to explore the areas<br />

around the Irrawaddy. That was what he had come to see. Along<br />

those shores his great-great-grandfather had been killed.<br />

He pictured his ancestor looking much like himself, around his<br />

age, his same coloring, having a similar feeling of being displaced,<br />

alienated <strong>from</strong> his disappointed wife, squeezed by the tyranny of a<br />

society that would give him nothing by which he could distinguish<br />

himself. He was just another cog. He had come to <strong>Burma</strong> to work<br />

with a timber company, to see what his chances were, if his soul was<br />

still alive. He looked at the river and its broad expanse. And then<br />

came shouts, and he was surprised that death was happening so fast.<br />

Crossbow arrows rained down and sharp knives went through him<br />

with surprising ease, as if he had no muscle or bone. And then he<br />

was lying in his mess, his face close to the water, not feeling his body,<br />

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