Saving Fish from Drowning - Heal Burma

SAVING FISH FROM DROWNING
fered a devastating reversal. There were no more costume balls filled
with laughter, no laughter, for that matter, for there were no servants
to attend to the preparation, upkeep, and disposal of laughter. No
manservant or valet, no cook or scullery maid, no gardener or
groomsman. Matilda Andrews fell into a perpetual state of mortifi­
cation and remained in her rooms talking to the wives of dignitaries
in her mirrors. Young Seraphineas kept to himself and read books—
books on magic, which he perceived to be the fine art of conjuring
money out of rich fools. He practiced many of his illusions on his
father, a willing subject, as he had already proven all too well.
In 1882, Phineas Andrews was invited to Rangoon by an old and
loyal friend, a captain with the Raj, who beckoned him to witness
the courage of the soldiers who served Her Majesty in the wild jun­
gles of Burma. At first glance, Phineas became enamored of Burma
and her verandahs and lazy days, her palanquins and polite defer­
ence to the British. In Burma, he started a small export business in
feather fans, the feathers plucked from the marvelous array of birds
found in this tropical land. In short order, his business included other
exotic luxuries: elephant-leg stools, stuffed-monkey lamps, tiger-
skin rugs, and drums fashioned out of the bowls of two human
skulls, which produced a sound like no other. Many items remained
unsold, but the profit margins were high enough to make Phineas a
wealthy man again. In that small society, the Andrews family was
soon elevated to the equivalent of high pooh-bahs. They had twenty
servants—they could have had a hundred, if they liked—and lived in
a house with so many rooms and gardens that most of them had no
particular purpose.
Phineas was not a bad sort, merely dissipated and ineffectual. But
the youngest of his three sons was “a friend of evil,” as some he
tricked would later describe him. Whatever charm his father had
possessed for entertaining, Seraphineas used without hesitation for
ill gain. Whereas the father could convince his costumed guests that
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