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January 2015 - UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST

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L<br />

I may be older than dirt, but I'm still above it.<br />

K<br />

WINTER SCHEDULE<br />

Thursday Nights - Ages 20+ 7:30-10pm<br />

Friday Nights - All Skating 7:30 - 10:00<br />

Saturday & Sunday - 1:30 - 4pm<br />

Saturday Nights - Family Night 7:30 - 10pm<br />

Sunday Night - All SK8 • 7:30 - 10pm<br />

Available for private parties<br />

Don’t spend $18 + at the<br />

beauty salon, get your...<br />

Mens & Boys CUTS for<br />

All day – Every day! Walk-ins welcome.<br />

Flat Tops - Fades - Mohawks - Mens & Boys Regular Cuts<br />

Marcel’s<br />

Barber Shop<br />

54 Mill Street, New Auburn • 783-3444<br />

OPEN: Tues-Fri 7:30am - 5:30pm; Sat 7:30am - 2pm<br />

$<br />

12<br />

A Maine Tradition You Can Count On!<br />

64 Lewiston Road, Gray<br />

657-4714 • ColeFarms.com<br />

Rollodrome<br />

Where<br />

Good Skaters<br />

Meet<br />

Some days, I feel like flypaper for idiots.<br />

• Happy Hour 3-6pm daily<br />

• 14 Beers on Tap & Full Bar<br />

• Daily Specials<br />

• Open Mic on Wednesday Nights<br />

• Live Music on Friday Nights<br />

Since 1954<br />

12 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 777-3940<br />

www.rollodrome.com<br />

(continued from previous page)<br />

Little Jimbo.<br />

“Toothbrushes,”<br />

echoed the teacher,<br />

“How could you possibly<br />

sell enough tooth<br />

brushes to make that<br />

much money”<br />

“I found the busiest<br />

corner in town", said<br />

Little Jimbo, “I set up a<br />

Chip & Dip stand and I<br />

gave everybody who<br />

walked by a free sample.<br />

They all said the<br />

same thing, ‘“Hey, this<br />

tastes like dog poop!’”<br />

Then I would say, “It is<br />

dog poop, you wanna<br />

buy a toothbrush”<br />

“I decided to use a<br />

politicians method of<br />

giving you some crap,<br />

dressing it up so it<br />

looks good, telling you<br />

it's free, and then making<br />

you pay to get the<br />

bad taste out of your<br />

mouth.”<br />

Little Jimbo got five<br />

stars for his assignment.<br />

Bless his heart.<br />

"It's not because I'm<br />

lonely, and it's not because<br />

it's New Year's<br />

Eve. I came here<br />

tonight because when<br />

you realize you want to<br />

spend the rest of your<br />

life with somebody, you<br />

want the rest of your<br />

life to start as soon as<br />

possible.''<br />

– Billy Crystal to<br />

Meg Ryan in<br />

When Harry Met Sally<br />

Uncle Andy’s Digest<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2015</strong> UncleAndys.com 15

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