January 2015 - UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST

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Fast Friends Submitted by Jimbo Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's okay, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like" "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing a tank top with short white shorts. What does your wife look like" The old guy replies, "It doesn't matter, let's look for yours." Jimbo to Tim: You're so old the Lewiston fire department is on standby when they light your birthday cake. New Auburn Social Club Wishes Everyone a Happy New Year! Mark Your Calander! Join Us at the United New Auburn Association Monthly Meeting on the Last Tuesday of the Month at Rolly’s Diner with Special Guest Speakers We would like to recognize our newly elected Officer: Fred Mitchell As well as our Re-elected Officers: Pat Legee, Joe Walker, Heather Quintal & Mike LaPlante Join us Monday, January 5th at 6:00pm For the Inauguration of our newly elected Officer and our Re-elected Officers! Stop in and help us welcome them!! New Auburn Social Club • 7 Second Street, Auburn • 782-9039 TOWNLINE ANTIQUES Buying & Selling 837-3784 Uncle Andy’s Digest 36 January 2015 ...with Jimbo 783-7039 Tim to Jimbo: You're so old the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
Join us for our Super Bowl Party! $50 pp (all inclusive) Pig Roast, Tailgate Hors d'oeuvres & includes 2 beverages of your choice! Tons of giveaways!! Super Bowl Sunday! Multiple Grand Prizes! • 40” Flat Screen TV • 4 hr Casco Bay Sailing Trip (for 4 people; includes steak & lobster dinner) and MUCH, MUCH MORE!! No better place to be on Super Bowl Sunday! Happy New Year! 1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com
Page 1 and 2: UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST The Most Unus
Page 3 and 4: At my age, flowers scare me. - Geor
Page 5 and 6: This New Year’s I resolve to be l
Page 7 and 8: You never realize what you have unt
Page 9 and 10: A group of eavesdroppers is called
Page 11 and 12: Because Business Should Lead To Abu
Page 13 and 14: I'd try to look on the bright side
Page 15 and 16: L I may be older than dirt, but I'm
Page 17 and 18: I need a new bank account. This one
Page 19 and 20: If 2014 was a person, I’d sue him
Page 21 and 22: Every year I make a resolution to c
Page 23 and 24: I'm actually feeling pretty okay ab
Page 25 and 26: Annual Best Businesses for 2014 Bes
Page 27 and 28: Presented by: All I know for sure i
Page 29 and 30: Jimbo to Tim: You are so old, if yo
Page 31 and 32: We could certainly slow the aging p
Page 33 and 34: Jimbo to Tim: You're so old your so
Page 35: RETAIL • WHOLESALE • REDEMPTION
Page 39 and 40: ✃ I haven't gained weight. I'm ju
Page 41 and 42: Tim to Jimbo: You're so old when yo
Page 43 and 44: ✃ The larger the lake of knowledg

January 2015 - UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST

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