April 2015 - UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST

Dummy
Submitted by Thomas Hill
The first restaurant on the moon didn't do very well. It had great food but no atmosphere!
A young boy enters a
barber shop and the
barber whispers to his
customer, "This is the
dumbest kid in the
world. Watch while I
prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar
bill in one hand and
two quarters in the
other, then calls the
boy over and asks,
"Which do you want,
son?" The boy takes
the quarters and
leaves.
"What did I tell you?"
said the barber. "That
kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer
leaves, he sees
the same young boy
coming out of the ice
cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask
you a question? Why
did you take the quarters
instead of the dollar
bill?"
The boy licked his
cone and replied,
"Because the day I
take the dollar, the
game is over!"
Q: With pointed fangs
I sit and wait; with
piercing force I crunch
out fate; grabbing
victims, proclaiming
might; physically joining
with a single bite.
What am I?
For the first time, Lewiston-
Auburn has its own FM radio
station. There is local news,
weather and sports, plus
promoting of community
events. The FCC says radio
stations should serve “the
public interest, convenience
and necessity.” That’s what
we’re doing.
Each weekday morning, we
have guests in between 7
and 9 am to talk about community
issues, business activities
and events.
It is then archived online and
becomes a tool for promoting
by linking from your website.
In addition, we showcase
local singing artists on the
Breakfast Club in a segment
called “L/A’s Got Talent.”
• Each weekday, we email
the local news to over
10,000 subscribers.
• Messages direct people to
links for businesses, organizations
and events.
Local Personalities
• The Hits of Today
Taylor Swift, Sam Smith, Nico & Vinz,
Maroon 5, Magic, Colbie Caillat,
Megan Trainor and much more.
• And Classic Hits
Songs from the 80’s thru Today!
• Great Music All Day
10am - 2pm: “Rush Hours”
with Jeremy Rush
12-1pm: “Retro Lunch”
2-6pm: “The Dean” of Radio,
Dave Dean LIVE weekdays.
Fridays 4-5pm: “Friday Free For All”
featuring local artists.
6pm - 12am: The “Night Shift” with
L/A’s own Gene Cassidy.
Saturdays 8-11am: Z105.5
Top 30 Countdown
4 WAYS TO LISTEN:
Around L/A at 105.5-FM & 1240-AM,
Online at www.z1055.com
& Tune-In App.
A: A Stapler
Uncle Andy’s Digest
26
April 2015
...with
Jimbo
783-7039
Blessed is the man who can laugh at himself, for he will never cease to be amused!