April 2015 - UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST
April 2015 digital edition of Uncle Andy's Digest.
April 2015 digital edition of Uncle Andy's Digest.
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There should be an energy drink named 6 AM toddler.<br />
Like Mom<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
He didn't like the<br />
casserole, He didn't<br />
like my cake.<br />
He said my biscuits<br />
were too hard,<br />
Not like his mother<br />
used to make.<br />
I didn't perk the coffee<br />
right, he didn't like the<br />
stew, I didn't mend his<br />
socks<br />
The way his mother<br />
used to do.<br />
I pondered for an<br />
answer, I was looking<br />
for a clue.<br />
Just found my birth certificate. Ugh, it’s official: I’ve gained weight.<br />
I turned around and<br />
smacked him in the<br />
head.<br />
Like his mother<br />
used to do.<br />
Accidents<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
Doctor: "Ever had an<br />
accident?"<br />
Rancher: "No."<br />
Doctor: "Never?<br />
You’ve never had an<br />
accident in your whole<br />
life?"<br />
Rancher: "Well, last<br />
spring I was out in the<br />
pasture and a bull<br />
tossed me over the<br />
fence."<br />
Doctor: "And you don't<br />
call that an accident?"<br />
Rancher: "No. I think<br />
the bull did it on<br />
purpose."<br />
“Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Robert Frost<br />
Uncle Andy’s Digest<br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
<strong>April</strong> <strong>2015</strong> UncleAndys.com 43
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