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[ Aetat. 27 ] J O Y C E 279against Cosgrave, of being abandoned by him during the scuffle in Stephen'sGreen on June 21, 1904, did not realize that Cosgrave bore severalgrudges against him. After all, Joyce had succeeded with Nora whenCosgrave had failed with her, Joyce had put him into his book with theunsavory name of Lynch in spite of his remonstrances, Joyce had somehowmade a go of things—or so it appeared—in Trieste, with mistress,son, and job, while Cosgrave had got nowhere. Joyce's manner, moreformal now than of old, and perhaps a little complacent, probably irritatedhim also, and made him long to puncture it. On the afternoon ofAugust 6 he did so. 16Their conversation lit on Nora. Cosgrave reminded Joyce that Noraused to go out only every other night because, she said, her duties at thehotel kept her busy on the alternate evenings. Joyce had believed her.But really, as Cosgrave felt free now to inform him, she had not stayedin the hotel on those evenings, but had gone for walks in the darknessalong the river bank with another escort—himself. Joyce was struck withconsternation. The inherent improbability of the tale, his knowledge of!Nora's innocence and fidelity,weighed nothing for the moment beside Ithe horrible possibility that she had betrayed him. Cosgrave had struck jdeeper than he knew into Joyce's pride. The Dublin visit had sharpened /Joyce's feelings of ancient treachery, and predisposed him to findit all-;pervasive. He was to have his hero Richard in Exiles say to the man whois supposedly his best friend, in the very core of my ignoble heart Ilonged to be betrayed by you and by her ... I longed for that passionatelyand ignobly, to be dishonoured for ever in love and in lust, to befor ever a shameful creature and to build up my soul again out of theruins of its shame.' 17It must be said, however, that while Joyce sharedsomething of Richard's secret longing, he was mightily upset at the possibilityof Nora's having been faithless.Within an hour he wrote Nora a letter heavy with accusation andsorrow:44 Fontenoy StreetNora I am not going to Galway nor is Georgie.I am going to throw up the business I came for and which I hopedwould have bettered my position.I have been frank in what I have told you of myself. You have not beenso with me.At the time when I used to meet you at the corner of Merrion Squareand walk out with you and feel your hand touch me in the dark and hearyour voice (O, Nora! I will never hear that music again-because I cannever believe again) at the time I used to meet you, every second night youkept an appointment with a friend of mine outside the Museum, you wentwith him along the same streets, down by the canal, past the 'house withthe upstairs in it', down to the bank of the Dodder. You stood with him:he put his arm round you and you lifted your face and kissed him. Whatelse did you do together? And the next night you met me!