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Sermon564/ncumc/3-15-09/James 3:3-12/ “Loving with Your Words”
So if we are going to be responsible with our words, we need to love people with honest
words, love people with careful words, and lastly, LOVE PEOPLE WITH BUILDING
WORDS.
Ephesians 4:29 from the KJV, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your
mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the
hearers.” So it comes to this in using the great power we all possess. In all of our
communication, our goal is to speak so that our words edify, or build up, or help the other person
grow in grace. We must do our best to keep corrupt or unwholesome talk from coming out of our
mouths. What is unwholesome talk – by definition it is words that are of poor quality, worthless,
rotten – simply unfit for use. I’m not just talking about swear words here, but words that cut off
conversation like “Fine” or “Whatever.” I’ve been known to use those two before. When I do, all
I’m saying is “I don’t want to hear any more. Have it your way.” But those words aren’t helpful.
Our goal is to use words that build up, not tear down. Words can do one or the other. Words can
build a marriage or tear down a marriage. Words can build a child’s self esteem or tear down a
child’s self esteem. Words can build up a friendship or tear down a friendship. All this tells me
of the importance of stopping to think before we speak. One question to ask ourselves before we
speak is, “Is this what the other person needs from me or is it just what I feel like giving right
now?”
Pastor Alan Redpath once employed a simple communication tool with his congregation
that I believe we need to use as well. It is a way to help us mutually encourage one another.
THINK!
T – is it Truthful? Before you say something is it truthful? Is it the whole truth and nothing but
the truth? Is it twisted a little bit? Is it an attitude that makes you look better? Is it truthful?
H – is it Helpful? Or is it going to harm?
I – is it Inspirational? Is it going to build up or tear down? Is it going to give people hope?
and encourage and make them want to move forward in their life?
N – is it Necessary? Some people just talk too much. Some things aren’t necessarily
wrong to say. There’s nothing wrong with saying them. They’re just not necessary.
K – is it Kind? Is it kind? Love is kind.
So THINK. Think before you speak.
Okay, it’s time for this week’s homework assignment. On your outline are five powerful
ways of using our words. Notice they all come from Proverbs which talks a lot about using our
words. But these are powerful because when used, they serve to change someone’s life. These
are ways to use our great power with great responsibility.
THIS WEEK I WILL CHOOSE:
Kind words: Transform worry to joy.
“Worry can rob you of happiness, but kind words will cheer you up.”
Proverbs 12:25 (TEV)
Gentle words: Break through anger.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)
Pleasant words: Encourage learning.
“Pleasant words promote instruction.” Proverbs 16:21b (NIV)
Honest words: Make us feel loved.
“An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.” Proverbs 24:26
Wise words: Heal broken hearts.