Uncle Andy's Digest - January 2016
The January 2016 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest is chock full of short stories, jokes, puns, and interesting facts.
The January 2016 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest is chock full of short stories, jokes, puns, and interesting facts.
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Well Done<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
Time flies whether or not you're having fun.<br />
The Pillsbury Doughboy,<br />
died yesterday of<br />
a severe yeast infection<br />
and complications<br />
from repeated pokes to<br />
the belly. He was 71.<br />
Now Serving Beer,<br />
Wine & Spirits<br />
Need Catering?<br />
Call Us Today!!<br />
New Fall Menu,<br />
Full Breakfast,<br />
Lunch, Dinner,<br />
Burgers & More!!<br />
Doughboy was buried<br />
in one of the largest funeral<br />
ceremonies in recent<br />
years. Dozens of<br />
celebrities turned out,<br />
including Mrs. Butterworth,<br />
the California<br />
Raisins, Hungry Jack,<br />
Betty Crocker, the<br />
Hostess Twinkies,<br />
Cap’n Crunch and<br />
many others.<br />
49 Spring Street, Auburn • 207-784-2300<br />
Hours: Mon, Tues, Wed. 7am - 4pm; Thurs & Fri 7am - 9pm; Sat 8am - 9pm<br />
World Tour for the 2nd Amendment<br />
Happy Hour<br />
4-6pm<br />
Serving Dinner<br />
Thurs. - Sat.<br />
4-9pm<br />
The grave was piled<br />
with flours as longtime<br />
friend, Aunt Jemima,<br />
delivered the eulogy,<br />
describing Doughboy<br />
as a man who “never<br />
knew how much he<br />
was kneaded.”<br />
Doughboy rose quickly<br />
in show business but<br />
his later life was filled<br />
with many turnovers.<br />
He was not considered<br />
a very smart cookie,<br />
wasting much of his<br />
dough on half-baked<br />
schemes. Still, even as<br />
a crusty old man, he<br />
was a roll model for<br />
millions.<br />
Doughboy is survived<br />
by his second wife,<br />
Play Dough. They have<br />
two children and one in<br />
the oven. The funeral<br />
was held at 3:50 for<br />
about 20 minutes.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
10<br />
<strong>January</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
We have buyers searching NOW for the following homes:<br />
3 Bedroom Ranch with garage (Lewiston/Auburn) $150,000-$175,000<br />
3+ Bedroom 2 Bath Cape or colonial on 1+ acre(Auburn/Minot/Poland) $165,000-$215,000<br />
Condominium with 1st floor bedroom & bath (Auburn/Lewiston/Gray) $175,000-$225,000<br />
If you know someone who wants to sell a home that fits the above descriptions, call us TODAY!<br />
Marnie DuBois<br />
Kate Pastore & Rick Montminy<br />
were recently at Gillette Stadium, just one of the stops on their world tour<br />
promoting the 2nd Amendment. Here they are surrounded by true Patriots.<br />
207-344-3230<br />
195 Center St. • Auburn • DuBoisRealtyGroup.net<br />
My body is like a dictionary filled with blank pages: thick and no definition.<br />
Brian DuBois
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