Uncle Andy's Digest - January 2016
The January 2016 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest is chock full of short stories, jokes, puns, and interesting facts.
The January 2016 edition of Uncle Andy's Digest is chock full of short stories, jokes, puns, and interesting facts.
You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles
YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.
Job<br />
Security<br />
Submitted by Jimbo<br />
A husband and wife<br />
were driving down a<br />
country lane on their<br />
way to visit some<br />
friends. They came to<br />
a big, muddy hole in<br />
the road and the car<br />
became bogged. After<br />
a few minutes of trying<br />
to get the car out by<br />
themselves, they saw a<br />
young farmer coming<br />
down the lane, driving<br />
some oxen before him.<br />
The farmer stopped<br />
when he saw the couple<br />
in trouble and offered<br />
to pull the car out<br />
of the mud for $50. The<br />
husband accepted and<br />
minutes later the car<br />
was free.<br />
The farmer turned to<br />
the husband and said,<br />
“You know, you’re the<br />
tenth car I’ve helped<br />
out of the mud today.”<br />
The husband looks<br />
around at the fields incredulously<br />
and asks<br />
the farmer, “When do<br />
you have time to plow<br />
your land? You must<br />
do it at night.”<br />
“No,” the young farmer<br />
replied seriously, “Night<br />
is when I put the water<br />
in the hole.”<br />
I tried talking to my dentist during a cleaning, but my words got flossed in translation.<br />
Our 5th Annual<br />
Competition!<br />
OPEN<br />
AUDITIONS<br />
Saturday <strong>January</strong> 23, <strong>2016</strong><br />
9am - 1pm<br />
Franco Center, Heritage Hall<br />
46 Cedar St. Lewiston<br />
FMI Call Sandcastle at 782-2150.<br />
Email: info@sandcastlemaine.org<br />
Performers must bring their own<br />
musical accompaniment, however,<br />
a piano will be available that day.<br />
The MAIN event will be on<br />
Saturday, March 5th, <strong>2016</strong><br />
Reception at 6pm • Show starts at 7:30pm<br />
Franco Center, Lewiston<br />
Tickets start at $25<br />
Tickets available at the Franco Center Box Office 207-783-1585<br />
1st Prize $ 750<br />
2nd Prize $ 500<br />
3rd Prize $ 250<br />
Patient: Hey Doc, I<br />
think I am addicted to<br />
Twitter.<br />
Doctor: Sorry, I don't<br />
follow you.<br />
Photo credit: EM Images<br />
Sponsorships Available.<br />
Please call 207-782-2150<br />
All proceeds to benefit Sandcastle Clinical &<br />
Educational Services and L/A Hearing Center.<br />
www.sandcastlemaine.org<br />
www.lahearingcenter.org<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
14<br />
<strong>January</strong> <strong>2016</strong><br />
...with<br />
Jimbo<br />
783-7039<br />
“Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.” – Stephanie Klein
Change language