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I searched for various therapies, constantly<br />
trying to find people to help me shift my<br />
mindset and get me to a better place. I used<br />
life coaches, counsellors, hypnotherapists,<br />
CBT, and it helped to a certain degree. During<br />
this period my interest in coaching grew,<br />
and I trained to become a life coach and NLP<br />
practitioner. My aim was to help other people<br />
who may be going through what I was, but my<br />
business didn’t start because my own recovery<br />
was still in progress.<br />
When I had children at 29, I came to a<br />
new crossroads. Motherhood completely<br />
overwhelmed me, and my anxiety spiralled.<br />
I found everything a struggle. I found it<br />
hard to take my kids out for a walk because<br />
I was nervous of people judging me. I found<br />
playgroups hard as I saw other mums getting<br />
on so easily and confidently. I was a nervous<br />
driver as it was but the pressure to go to baby<br />
swimming, baby yoga, and everything else I<br />
saw others doing, almost tipped me to the edge.<br />
I was a snappy mum, frustrated, low in mood<br />
and energy, and this led to each day ending in<br />
guilt and tears.<br />
I practised gratitude, and every<br />
day I was a little kinder and more<br />
patient with myself<br />
I knew something had to change. I needed to<br />
be an inspiration to my girls, the best mother to<br />
them, and strong for myself. I stopped looking<br />
at the outside world to fill my needs, stopped<br />
looking for temporary fixes and solutions,<br />
and started to read and listen to speakers who<br />
motivated and inspired me. One of the first<br />
books that I read was all to do with meditation,<br />
so that’s where I began. I also started to look at<br />
my nutrition, and what exercise I was doing.<br />
Everything is connected with the mind and body,<br />
so I had to learn to fuel both. I made my inner<br />
world and inner focus a constant practice.<br />
I started to step out of my comfort zone, even if<br />
it was just having a coffee on my own in public.<br />
I practised gratitude, and every day I was a little<br />
kinder and more patient with myself. I started<br />
doing things for myself, instead of what I thought<br />
the world expected of me. If I wanted an extra<br />
rest day, I took it, if I wanted to take the kids for<br />
a coffee and cake (a big deal for me in a public<br />
space) I took my time, gave it a go, and practised<br />
being mindful of our time together. I felt proud<br />
62 | September <strong>2021</strong> | <strong>happiful</strong>.com
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