DARE-TO-LOVE-TRUTH-AND-DARE-DUET-COLLECTION-by-Lylah-James-pdfarchive

I had needed someone to blame for the way my life had
seemed to crumble under my feet.
Maddox was there… and I blamed him.
Now that I had the time to really think about it, I
realized that the gala was a blurred mess in my brain. I had
gone into shock, and I was surviving on it. I hadn’t given
myself time to grieve, to come to terms with seeing
Christian again, coming face-to-face with my parents’ killer.
I had been reliving my past, too overwhelmed to really
process what was happening. My therapist used to say that
emotional shock is a shutdown mechanism that is supposed
to buy a person time to process their trauma.
Hurting Maddox… pushing Maddox further from me was
my way of dealing with it. I had been vulnerable…
powerless, and it was my weak attempt at shutting down
and protecting myself.
I wanted to believe that Maddox would never
intentionally hurt me. I wanted to believe in him. After
everything we had been through, his feelings for me were
honest. I knew that with as much surety that I knew my
own love for him.
After coming to terms with my own anger and my sense
of feeling betrayed, I finally decided to meet up with
Maddox. It was time for us to talk.
I wasn’t ready to put all of this behind us. The trust
between us was fragile, a thin thread that could easily
snap.
But I was willing to try.
Because I wanted Maddox. Needed him. Because our
pasts should no longer have any control over our present…
or our future.
I wanted to give us another chance. Forgiveness was the
first step. I was willing to forgive him for keeping that
secret. My mom never taught me to give up so easily, and
Maddox was worth it.
He was worth the pain.