DARE-TO-LOVE-TRUTH-AND-DARE-DUET-COLLECTION-by-Lylah-James-pdfarchive

MADDOX
Hate is a strong word. But I hated my father. I
loathed my mother.
And Lila? I hated her as much as I loved her.
It ate at me, that all-consuming feeling. Like little bugs
eating at my flesh, cutting me open, as my blood poured
out. No fucking mercy.
I wondered if I’d ever stop feeling numb. The alcohol
helped, most of the time. But when I was sober again, I just
felt shittier. So I’d drink again. And again. Until I was
drunk, day and night. Numb to everything, everyone, every
fucked-up emotion brewing inside of me.
Except, the taste of betrayal lingered. Heavy and bitter.
Lila fucked with my head, and I let her in, gave her the
power to do this to me. Turned me into the 17-year-old
Maddox, who was bitter and enraged. She promised she’d
be there when I needed her. But she wasn’t. And that – that
betrayal cut me worse than my father’s disappointment or
my mother’s lack of care.
A pounding headache woke me up, and I glanced around
the bare room. The clock said it was past one in the
afternoon. Shit, I slept the whole morning away. My head
hurt; my body ached. I needed a drink, again. To forget. To
go back to being numb.