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Logan must have noticed the severity in my voice

because he nodded without any complaint. He was the

oldest at eight years old. He was trouble – Maddox 2.0 –

but mature for his age. After the boys left and the house

quieted down, except for Iris’s cries, I walked up to my wife

and daughter.

Lila finally noticed me. She looked up and there it was…

the silent pleading in her eyes. The hopelessness and

misery.

“I got her,” I said, taking Iris from her.

Our daughter instantly stopped crying, burying her tiny

face into my chest as if searching for my warmth. My Lila

flinched and I saw the moment her heart broke.

Fuck. There she went, breaking my heart.

“I’ll be back,” I told her before taking Iris away.

After quickly giving her a bath and swaddling her up for

the night, I fed her a bottle of warm milk before putting her

in her into the crib. I prayed she wouldn’t wake up, not

until after I had taken care of my wife.

My kids needed me.

But my wife needed me more right now.

I caressed her chubby cheeks. “Your mommy loves you

so much. You’re our little rainbow… I don’t know what’s

wrong but I’ll fix this. I promise. I’ll fix this so your mommy

doesn’t hurt anymore.”

After turning on the baby monitor, I went on the hunt for

the boys. They were still in the TV room, where I had left

them. One by one, they all got ready for bed.

Once the house was completely quiet and all the kids

were asleep, I sought out my wife. I found her exactly

where I knew she’d be.

Fixing the boxes under our huge Christmas tree.

It was already that time of year. Two weeks until

Christmas.

It would have been an exciting time if Lila and I were

not so exhausted. Lila more than me. She was having a

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