Die komplette MONITOR-Ausgabe 2/1999 können Sie

about it repeatedly.”
I replied that, as a matter of fact, yes and I
was getting tired of it. Mr. Pomposity said,
“Well, get your answers down pat because as the
months progress you’ll find yourself replying to
that question several times a day. People will
call you at night - late at night. It’s just natural.
People who know for sure that there won’t be
floods and earthquakes and planes dropping out
of the sky, will still want a little assurance from
even people like you.” While I didn’t appreciate
the holier-than-thou “people like you” I could
see his point.
And at that point Ms. Amiable, in her continual
quest for peace, introduced a string of
ideas for the coming year. “I think there will be
some improvement in connection speed but
nothing really major. However, look for gigantic
leaps in the year 2000. The rest of this year
will be devoted to perfecting Internet sales. You
see, O lover of Granny’s Spice Cookies, last year
the Internet proved it was a good sales vehicle
but a lousy retail vehicle. They could sell goods
but had no idea how to service the customer on
returns, misfits, wrong colors, and refunds. Now
those same companies that learned they can sell
on the Internet are going to have to learn how to
service Internet customers just like their store
colleagues have done for years. And they will.
It’s a painful process, learning to walk again.”
� PC prices will continue to fall
Not to be outdone in optimism, Ms. Bubbly
joined in by saying, “There’s good news for the
low-end and mid-bracket PC user. Prices are
going to continue in freefall. I think you will
see some outstanding, eye-blinking prices by
the end of 1999. Don’t be surprised to see computers
with Intel’s Celeron chip, all above the
350 MHz range, selling for $750 with 4.6 gig
drives, 48 megs of memory, sound, CD-ROM
and a few other goodies. It will not be long
before personal computer costs less than a nondigital
television.
“And,” she continued, “you will see much
lower prices for laptop computers. The price
wars will hit the laptops in early spring and the
prices will start dropping through the floor. All
in all, it will be a great year for buyers. Cheap
goods that are tops in quality. In fact, that’s
what is so neat about things right now. Good
quality is available at such low prices that the
old junk merchandise is being driven out of the
market.”
It took the cynic of our group, Mr. Snyde, to
put a cap on the optimism. He entered the fray
by saying, “And 1999 will, as we’ve said before,
be the year that e-mail usage goes down. It’s all
those fool lawyers and government representatives
getting court orders to wade through our
e-mail that is sending the Internet’s prime application
into a bad spin. But I don’t think the
Internet community will react and protest much
in 1999. It will be the new millennium before
they get irritated enough to raise Cain.”
Having jolted us back to reality, Mr. Snyde
and the Leprechauns disappeared suddenly. But
they did leave their monthly accumulation of
quotes. �
Phrases That Need Translating
"If you're forced to buy it, it becomes like a tax"[What the Windows operating system is
according to James Love, head honcho of an organization called "Co"nsumer Project on Technology" that
is part of zany reactionary Ralph Nader's group.]
Translation: Give us nine billion dollars. $9 billion with a B.We are going to sue Microsoft
on behalf of other non-productive leaches.
"81 percent of those surveyed think Microsoft is good for American consumers and 52
percent believe the anti-trust case was brought against Microsoft to help its competitors."
[Quote from an outfit called Citizens for a Sound Economy that no one has ever heard of before.]
Translation: Microsoft probably paid for this poll and we are merely releasing its results.
We refuse to say who actually paid for it.You are free to guess.
"With Apollo, we have an even lower cost structure by virtue of having a separate business
with a small, core team and an extensive outsourcing business model."[Antonio Perez,
HP vice president and general manager of the Inkjet Products Group which is a new division of HP that will sell ink
jet printers for less than $100..]
Translation: We were making so many new HP printer models we had to figure a way to
discount them after three months without hurting our main line.
"In early 1995, after exhaustive research and refinement, Mark and Elizabeth Goldstein
built a better mouse."[Statement by a company named Goldtouch, based in Irvine, CA describing how they
think Microsoft stole their design and it became the Microsoft Intellimouse Pro. They are suing Microsoft for $1 Billion.]
Translation: : If we can't make money with our designs, we'll make money through the
court system. Everyone is suing Microsoft.
"There's good news for the
low-end and mid-bracket
PC user. Prices are going to
continue in freefall. I think
you will see some outstanding,
eye-blinking prices by
the end of 1999. Don't be
surprised to see computers
with Intel's Celeron chip,
all above the 350 MHz
range, selling for $750
with 4.6 gig drives, 48
megs of memory, sound, CD-
ROM and a few other goodies.
It will not be long before
personal computer costs less
than a non-digital television.
Want to communicate
with Evan and his band
of Leprechauns? You
can contact him at:
Evan Mahaney
evan@newswritr.com
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