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CHAPTER TEN business travel You leave something of yourself at every meeting with another person. On-the-Road Quiz —Fred Rogers a. Why does an extrovert join you for dinner on a business trip? b. Why does an introvert join you for dinner? Answer: a. To unwind and enjoy a meal after a long day. b. To avoid seeming rude. 117
Pause Let’s talk about your next seatmate on a transcontinental fl ight. “Whoa!” I can hear you shout all the way from here. “I don’t want a conversation on an airplane!” (Introverts can be irrefutably loud when harboring a strong opinion.) And you wonder why you are underconnected. I bet introverts account for 75 percent of the sales of those giant, circa-1970s noise-canceling headphones. Th at’s right; introverts pop them right over their ears to dissuade any hope of conversation from fellow passengers. Take off those headphones for a minute, I’m talking to you! Let’s make a deal. You can ignore your seatmates for at least 90 percent of the fl ight. I ask for only about 10 percent of your time. Doesn’t that sound more than reasonable? I fl y a lot. I am always fl ying to or from an event where I am expected to talk. At times I am in a perpetual state of dipping into energy reserves and feeling wiped out. I understand not wanting to talk. Yet I have made some wonderful contacts on airplanes, pain-free. My best airplane story unfolded when I was sitt ing there, safely buckled in, reviewing speaker evaluations from a conference, happily ignoring my fellow passengers. Th e feedback was glowing, along the lines of “Devora is the best consultant I’ve ever encountered,” and “I will only att end events Devora is running from this point forward.” Suddenly my row mate interrupted my reverie (the nerve!), asking, “Are you a consultant?” Clueless as ever, I replied, “How do you know?!” He admitt ed peeking at my feedback forms, so I held up the heap, saying, “Here, take ’em!” Turned out he was the newly minted VP 118 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE NETWORKING
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More Praise for Networking for Peop
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networking for people who hate netw
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Networking for People Who Hate Netw
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viii CONTENTS Acknowledgments 157 A
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school as like trying to learn Lati
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Introverts, the overwhelmed, and th
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Th ese people have no idea what it
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From a young age, introverts receiv
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Identical actions can spring from d
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TEMPERAMENT ASSESSMENT Each number
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Strength of Preference Let’s begi
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extrovert, but my results say I’m
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Labels such as shy and outgoing hav
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Quiet Shy Insecure Detached Awkward
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Guiding Principle Supporting Techni
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Introverted networking requires a d
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A FEW BENEFITS OF INTROVERSION ■
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Take Action! “Th e Other Half”
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PATTER Extroverts slide into networ
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HAZARDS OF EXTROVERSION ■ Poor fo
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Saber-Toothed Tigers and You You en
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CATASTROPHIC THINKING Notes From th
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42 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE N
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Event(s) My Perceptions and Negativ
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Tips are in order. 1. Th e brain ca
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If you consider yourself overwhelme
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Connecting versus Collecting Succes
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Understanding that I, as an introve
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THE QUESTION OF QUESTIONS If you ar
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Joining groups, associations, and t
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Notes From the Field In the Spotlig
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Networking events are those special
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efi ts of fashion versus the value
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me to check for att endance of thos
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Page 83 and 84: privacy personally, do you? Conside
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Page 87 and 88: Th e Platinum Rule Th e golden rule
Page 89 and 90: Assuming others will meet us where
Page 91 and 92: dashes over and gives Rachel an aff
Page 93 and 94: approximates the diff erence in eff
Page 95 and 96: Folding your opposite arm on top is
Page 97 and 98: WHAT YOU SEE AND WHAT YOU GET Perso
Page 99 and 100: I have good news and bad news, and
Page 101 and 102: You are at your best when you’re
Page 103 and 104: DOES NO MEAN NO? Perhaps your caref
Page 105 and 106: is fond of announcing, “If you mu
Page 107 and 108: 1. Accept who you are. You already
Page 109 and 110: Kind gestures set you apart in the
Page 111 and 112: Th e natural progression from the s
Page 113 and 114: You’re on Candid Camera What a gr
Page 115 and 116: Are You Really Underconnected? Soci
Page 117 and 118: Super [as prefi x]: over and above;
Page 119 and 120: Th e fl ip side is the halo eff ect
Page 121 and 122: scenario—you fi nd yourself on an
Page 123 and 124: What accomplishments make you most
Page 125 and 126: Notes From the Field Calibration In
Page 127: Me I’m Interested Not Sure Th em
Page 131 and 132: conversation. I was not interested,
Page 133 and 134: Process Business trips can be tough
Page 135 and 136: GOOD E: Hey, you’re joining us to
Page 137 and 138: Without proper preparation, you wou
Page 139 and 140: “I started my own garden and aspi
Page 141 and 142: What if you behaved as if your beli
Page 145 and 146: Again and again I have seen the sur
Page 147 and 148: Next, invite people to call out ide
Page 149 and 150: others, and each place card is a mi
Page 151 and 152: An hour later, I surprise the group
Page 153 and 154: Everyone Well-Known Names Less-Reco
Page 157 and 158: Outcome Goals Of the many versions
Page 159 and 160: OUTCOME GOALS Outcome goals compris
Page 161 and 162: Take Action! “Outcome Goals” An
Page 165 and 166: Don’t just follow advice. Follow
Page 167 and 168: diff erence between the fi rst time
Page 169 and 170: About Only Connect Consulting, Inc.
Page 173 and 174: assessment of preference, 14-19 beh
Page 175 and 176: 164 INDEX kinesthetic approach to n
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Your Fearless Author A resident of
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Berrett-Koehler is an independent p
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