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■ An interesting early or past job . . . ____________________________________________ ■ A favorite quote . . . ____________________________________________ ■ A professional goal . . . ____________________________________________ Personal Tidbits ■ Hobbies and interests… ____________________________________________ ■ I am from . . . ____________________________________________ ■ I am proud of . . . ____________________________________________ ■ A recent or favorite vacation . . . ____________________________________________ ■ A family fact . . . ____________________________________________ ■ A personal goal . . . ____________________________________________ Test-drive your responses aloud with a trusted colleague, friend, or family member. Doing so serves two purposes. You commit your options to memory, making them quickly accessible when caught in the moment. Also, your listener can help you weave these comments seamlessly into a conversation—preventing disjointed non-sequiturs. Some can be adapted into openers: “My daughter would love this place!” “Th is is so diff erent from Boston.” “I just took a great walk outside—perfect weather.” BUSINESS TRAVEL 127
“I started my own garden and aspire to grow peppers like these.” “Th is program is well done. Running a conference is tough!” Or ask questions: “What do you know about the keynote speaker tomorrow?” “Do you live far from here?” “When did you arrive?” “Do you have any tips about things to do here?” “How long have you worked in this fi eld?” “Have you been to this conference before?” . . . the list goes on. Practice makes inventing new questions easier. Make comments affi rming, not an opportunity to complain. Critical remarks get tossed around with astonishing regularity and reveal a lot about a personality. ■ Th is isn’t a very inspired food selection. ■ Couldn’t they have provided group transportation? ■ Th ese nametags sure don’t stay on well. ■ Seems like they skimped this year. ■ I hate these events. ■ Isn’t the speaker ever going to stop talking? ■ I can’t stand this city. ■ What terrible weather! ■ I’m exhausted. ■ Look at these drink lines. ■ Th is hotel has gone downhill. Can you tell I’ve att ended many conferences and am a professional eavesdropper? Th is list fl ows out all too easily and could fi ll a book. Not a particularly inspiring book, yet lengthy. I have heard all of the above, and then some, at networking events. Do you want to hang out with the people who made these comments? Me neither. Don’t be one of them. 128 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE NETWORKING
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More Praise for Networking for Peop
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networking for people who hate netw
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Networking for People Who Hate Netw
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viii CONTENTS Acknowledgments 157 A
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school as like trying to learn Lati
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Introverts, the overwhelmed, and th
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Th ese people have no idea what it
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From a young age, introverts receiv
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Identical actions can spring from d
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TEMPERAMENT ASSESSMENT Each number
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Strength of Preference Let’s begi
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extrovert, but my results say I’m
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Labels such as shy and outgoing hav
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Quiet Shy Insecure Detached Awkward
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Guiding Principle Supporting Techni
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Introverted networking requires a d
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A FEW BENEFITS OF INTROVERSION ■
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Take Action! “Th e Other Half”
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PATTER Extroverts slide into networ
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HAZARDS OF EXTROVERSION ■ Poor fo
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Saber-Toothed Tigers and You You en
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CATASTROPHIC THINKING Notes From th
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42 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE N
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Event(s) My Perceptions and Negativ
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Tips are in order. 1. Th e brain ca
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If you consider yourself overwhelme
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Connecting versus Collecting Succes
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Understanding that I, as an introve
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THE QUESTION OF QUESTIONS If you ar
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Joining groups, associations, and t
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Notes From the Field In the Spotlig
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Networking events are those special
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efi ts of fashion versus the value
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me to check for att endance of thos
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Pace Focus on others. To many, inte
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■ I’ve enjoyed our conversation
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email. Or copy in the headline and
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privacy personally, do you? Conside
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Page 87 and 88: Th e Platinum Rule Th e golden rule
Page 89 and 90: Assuming others will meet us where
Page 91 and 92: dashes over and gives Rachel an aff
Page 93 and 94: approximates the diff erence in eff
Page 95 and 96: Folding your opposite arm on top is
Page 97 and 98: WHAT YOU SEE AND WHAT YOU GET Perso
Page 99 and 100: I have good news and bad news, and
Page 101 and 102: You are at your best when you’re
Page 103 and 104: DOES NO MEAN NO? Perhaps your caref
Page 105 and 106: is fond of announcing, “If you mu
Page 107 and 108: 1. Accept who you are. You already
Page 109 and 110: Kind gestures set you apart in the
Page 111 and 112: Th e natural progression from the s
Page 113 and 114: You’re on Candid Camera What a gr
Page 115 and 116: Are You Really Underconnected? Soci
Page 117 and 118: Super [as prefi x]: over and above;
Page 119 and 120: Th e fl ip side is the halo eff ect
Page 121 and 122: scenario—you fi nd yourself on an
Page 123 and 124: What accomplishments make you most
Page 125 and 126: Notes From the Field Calibration In
Page 127 and 128: Me I’m Interested Not Sure Th em
Page 129 and 130: Pause Let’s talk about your next
Page 131 and 132: conversation. I was not interested,
Page 133 and 134: Process Business trips can be tough
Page 135 and 136: GOOD E: Hey, you’re joining us to
Page 137: Without proper preparation, you wou
Page 141 and 142: What if you behaved as if your beli
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Page 145 and 146: Again and again I have seen the sur
Page 147 and 148: Next, invite people to call out ide
Page 149 and 150: others, and each place card is a mi
Page 151 and 152: An hour later, I surprise the group
Page 153 and 154: Everyone Well-Known Names Less-Reco
Page 157 and 158: Outcome Goals Of the many versions
Page 159 and 160: OUTCOME GOALS Outcome goals compris
Page 161 and 162: Take Action! “Outcome Goals” An
Page 165 and 166: Don’t just follow advice. Follow
Page 167 and 168: diff erence between the fi rst time
Page 169 and 170: About Only Connect Consulting, Inc.
Page 173 and 174: assessment of preference, 14-19 beh
Page 175 and 176: 164 INDEX kinesthetic approach to n
Page 177 and 178: promotion, at job, 97 public librar
Page 179 and 180: Your Fearless Author A resident of
Page 181 and 182: Berrett-Koehler is an independent p
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