Index of

Recommendations

Info

CHAPTER TWELVE defi ning outcomes, achieving goals We cannot see our refl ection in running water; it is only in still water that we can see. Disintegration-of-Goals Quiz —Taoist Proverb True or False: Most people fail at their goals because they lack the willpower to follow through. Answer: False. Th is erroneous belief only demoralizes people aspiring to make positive changes. Most goals fail because they are poorly formed. 145
Outcome Goals Of the many versions of goal-sett ing out there, Outcome Goals are the best. I have taught outcome-based goal sett ing to innumerable clients with consistently positive, measurable results. I was coaching Carlos, a senior executive in a Fortune 500 company. By all outward appearances he was well-respected and successful. However, he tended to feel on the outskirts and wanted to improve his networking aptitude. Rather than just saying he would try harder to get himself out there, we created a challenging yet specifi c plan. First, recognize that challenges—like all else—are subjective. Carlos worked in a diff erent state from where he lived, and he was very committ ed to his job. Each weekday he arrived at work early, spent the day in his offi ce and at meetings, left to exercise, and went back to his rented apartment. As an introvert who fl ew home to a good family life on the weekends, he was mostly satisfi ed with this arrangement. However, he believed his career would benefi t from improving his professional peer network within his large corporation. We decided an achievable stretch goal for Carlos would be to initiate a lunch or coff ee break twice a month for three months with diff erent people he didn’t know well. We even created a chart for him to check off . I am a big believer in the grown-up version of sticker charts. Th ey’ve been around so long for a reason. Th ere’s something satisfying and visceral about marking off accomplishments in litt le boxes. I frequently make customized goal charts for my clients. Introverts can keep them in their top drawer rather than up on the bulletin board, away from inquisitive eyes. Carlos succeeded at his goal and began new habits of reaching out to others in a way comfortable for an introvert—one-on-one. 146 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE NETWORKING
Page 2 and 3:
More Praise for Networking for Peop
Page 4:
networking for people who hate netw
Page 7 and 8:
Networking for People Who Hate Netw
Page 9 and 10:
This page intentionally left blank
Page 11 and 12:
viii CONTENTS Acknowledgments 157 A
Page 13 and 14:
school as like trying to learn Lati
Page 15 and 16:
Introverts, the overwhelmed, and th
Page 17 and 18:
Page 19 and 20:
Th ese people have no idea what it
Page 21 and 22:
From a young age, introverts receiv
Page 23 and 24:
Identical actions can spring from d
Page 25 and 26:
TEMPERAMENT ASSESSMENT Each number
Page 27 and 28:
Strength of Preference Let’s begi
Page 29 and 30:
extrovert, but my results say I’m
Page 31 and 32:
Page 33 and 34:
Labels such as shy and outgoing hav
Page 35 and 36:
Quiet Shy Insecure Detached Awkward
Page 37 and 38:
Guiding Principle Supporting Techni
Page 39 and 40:
Introverted networking requires a d
Page 41 and 42:
A FEW BENEFITS OF INTROVERSION ■
Page 43 and 44:
Take Action! “Th e Other Half”
Page 45 and 46:
PATTER Extroverts slide into networ
Page 47 and 48:
HAZARDS OF EXTROVERSION ■ Poor fo
Page 49 and 50:
Saber-Toothed Tigers and You You en
Page 51 and 52:
CATASTROPHIC THINKING Notes From th
Page 53 and 54:
42 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE N
Page 55 and 56:
Event(s) My Perceptions and Negativ
Page 57 and 58:
Tips are in order. 1. Th e brain ca
Page 59 and 60:
If you consider yourself overwhelme
Page 61 and 62:
Connecting versus Collecting Succes
Page 63 and 64:
Understanding that I, as an introve
Page 65 and 66:
THE QUESTION OF QUESTIONS If you ar
Page 67 and 68:
Joining groups, associations, and t
Page 69 and 70:
Notes From the Field In the Spotlig
Page 71 and 72:
Networking events are those special
Page 73 and 74:
efi ts of fashion versus the value
Page 75 and 76:
me to check for att endance of thos
Page 77 and 78:
Pace Focus on others. To many, inte
Page 79 and 80:
■ I’ve enjoyed our conversation
Page 81 and 82:
email. Or copy in the headline and
Page 83 and 84:
privacy personally, do you? Conside
Page 85 and 86:
Page 87 and 88:
Th e Platinum Rule Th e golden rule
Page 89 and 90:
Assuming others will meet us where
Page 91 and 92:
dashes over and gives Rachel an aff
Page 93 and 94:
approximates the diff erence in eff
Page 95 and 96:
Folding your opposite arm on top is
Page 97 and 98:
WHAT YOU SEE AND WHAT YOU GET Perso
Page 99 and 100:
I have good news and bad news, and
Page 101 and 102:
You are at your best when you’re
Page 103 and 104:
DOES NO MEAN NO? Perhaps your caref
Page 105 and 106: is fond of announcing, “If you mu
Page 107 and 108: 1. Accept who you are. You already
Page 109 and 110: Kind gestures set you apart in the
Page 111 and 112: Th e natural progression from the s
Page 113 and 114: You’re on Candid Camera What a gr
Page 115 and 116: Are You Really Underconnected? Soci
Page 117 and 118: Super [as prefi x]: over and above;
Page 119 and 120: Th e fl ip side is the halo eff ect
Page 121 and 122: scenario—you fi nd yourself on an
Page 123 and 124: What accomplishments make you most
Page 125 and 126: Notes From the Field Calibration In
Page 127 and 128: Me I’m Interested Not Sure Th em
Page 129 and 130: Pause Let’s talk about your next
Page 131 and 132: conversation. I was not interested,
Page 133 and 134: Process Business trips can be tough
Page 135 and 136: GOOD E: Hey, you’re joining us to
Page 137 and 138: Without proper preparation, you wou
Page 139 and 140: “I started my own garden and aspi
Page 141 and 142: What if you behaved as if your beli
Page 143 and 144: This page intentionally left blank
Page 145 and 146: Again and again I have seen the sur
Page 147 and 148: Next, invite people to call out ide
Page 149 and 150: others, and each place card is a mi
Page 151 and 152: An hour later, I surprise the group
Page 153 and 154: Everyone Well-Known Names Less-Reco
Page 155: This page intentionally left blank
Page 159 and 160: OUTCOME GOALS Outcome goals compris
Page 161 and 162: Take Action! “Outcome Goals” An
Page 165 and 166: Don’t just follow advice. Follow
Page 167 and 168: diff erence between the fi rst time
Page 169 and 170: About Only Connect Consulting, Inc.
Page 173 and 174: assessment of preference, 14-19 beh
Page 175 and 176: 164 INDEX kinesthetic approach to n
Page 177 and 178: promotion, at job, 97 public librar
Page 179 and 180: Your Fearless Author A resident of
Page 181 and 182: Berrett-Koehler is an independent p
show all

Index of

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?