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A sincere interest, even drive, to get involved in a range of activities conveniently provides a diverse platform for selling their services. Extroverts Energize with Others (Social) Extroverts gain energy from socializing. I’ll say it one more time! Extroverts are energized by casual conversation. For the standard introvert, drained by small talk, this is a diffi cult concept to grasp. Yet this same trait can also be the source of some envy, when we introverts are honest with ourselves. Extroverts in my seminars have been known to proclaim, “I can talk to anyone about anything!’” Introverts stare with mouths dropped open, as if upon their fi rst viewing of a UFO. PARTY Extreme extroverts interact on the assumption that social interaction —of any quality or length, at virtually any time—is preferable to silence. For strong extroverts, mingling is a relaxing, rewarding aspect of work. I have heard innumerable extroverts make proclamations along the lines of “Networking is the easiest part of what I do.” Extroverts engage strangers in conversation with ease. Many extroverts consider social functions a highlight of their jobs. Party on! A FEW BENEFITS OF EXTROVERSION ■ Spontaneous interactions → engage in conversation with litt le eff ort ■ Comfort in a range of situations → at ease with diverse people and circumstances ■ Release of grudges or slights → easily let go of confl ict, do not take things personally THE DESTRUCTION OF STEREOTYPES 35
HAZARDS OF EXTROVERSION ■ Poor follow-up → prefer in-the-moment to closing-the-loop ■ Provide a plethora of information → a tendency to ramble or provide unnecessary details ■ Freely share private information → a lower bar for what is considered personal* cheat sheet! Introverts Extroverts Th ink to talk Talk to think Go deep Go wide Energize alone Energize with others Refl ective Verbal Focused Expansive Self-reliant Social Networking Preferences Listening Speaking Calm Activity One-on-one Groups Networking Strategies Introverts/Centroverts Extroverts 1. Pause (Research) 1. Patter (Discuss) 2. Process (Focus) 2. Promote (Sell) 3. Pace (Restore) 3. Party (Socialize) *I can’t resist sharing this exchange with you. An extrovert reviewed this summary of hazards and protested, “What’s wrong with openly sharing private information? Why is that a hazard?” In the spirit of free speech, her opinion must be heard. Extroverts! Discuss both sides of the issue during your next schmooze break. 36 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE NETWORKING
Page 2 and 3: More Praise for Networking for Peop
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Page 11 and 12: viii CONTENTS Acknowledgments 157 A
Page 13 and 14: school as like trying to learn Lati
Page 15 and 16: Introverts, the overwhelmed, and th
Page 19 and 20: Th ese people have no idea what it
Page 21 and 22: From a young age, introverts receiv
Page 23 and 24: Identical actions can spring from d
Page 25 and 26: TEMPERAMENT ASSESSMENT Each number
Page 27 and 28: Strength of Preference Let’s begi
Page 29 and 30: extrovert, but my results say I’m
Page 33 and 34: Labels such as shy and outgoing hav
Page 35 and 36: Quiet Shy Insecure Detached Awkward
Page 37 and 38: Guiding Principle Supporting Techni
Page 39 and 40: Introverted networking requires a d
Page 41 and 42: A FEW BENEFITS OF INTROVERSION ■
Page 43 and 44: Take Action! “Th e Other Half”
Page 45: PATTER Extroverts slide into networ
Page 49 and 50: Saber-Toothed Tigers and You You en
Page 51 and 52: CATASTROPHIC THINKING Notes From th
Page 53 and 54: 42 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE N
Page 55 and 56: Event(s) My Perceptions and Negativ
Page 57 and 58: Tips are in order. 1. Th e brain ca
Page 59 and 60: If you consider yourself overwhelme
Page 61 and 62: Connecting versus Collecting Succes
Page 63 and 64: Understanding that I, as an introve
Page 65 and 66: THE QUESTION OF QUESTIONS If you ar
Page 67 and 68: Joining groups, associations, and t
Page 69 and 70: Notes From the Field In the Spotlig
Page 71 and 72: Networking events are those special
Page 73 and 74: efi ts of fashion versus the value
Page 75 and 76: me to check for att endance of thos
Page 77 and 78: Pace Focus on others. To many, inte
Page 79 and 80: ■ I’ve enjoyed our conversation
Page 81 and 82: email. Or copy in the headline and
Page 83 and 84: privacy personally, do you? Conside
Page 87 and 88: Th e Platinum Rule Th e golden rule
Page 89 and 90: Assuming others will meet us where
Page 91 and 92: dashes over and gives Rachel an aff
Page 93 and 94: approximates the diff erence in eff
Page 95 and 96: Folding your opposite arm on top is
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WHAT YOU SEE AND WHAT YOU GET Perso
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I have good news and bad news, and
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You are at your best when you’re
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DOES NO MEAN NO? Perhaps your caref
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is fond of announcing, “If you mu
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1. Accept who you are. You already
Page 109 and 110:
Kind gestures set you apart in the
Page 111 and 112:
Th e natural progression from the s
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You’re on Candid Camera What a gr
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Are You Really Underconnected? Soci
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Super [as prefi x]: over and above;
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Th e fl ip side is the halo eff ect
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scenario—you fi nd yourself on an
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What accomplishments make you most
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Notes From the Field Calibration In
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Me I’m Interested Not Sure Th em
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Pause Let’s talk about your next
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conversation. I was not interested,
Page 133 and 134:
Process Business trips can be tough
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GOOD E: Hey, you’re joining us to
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Without proper preparation, you wou
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“I started my own garden and aspi
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What if you behaved as if your beli
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Again and again I have seen the sur
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Next, invite people to call out ide
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others, and each place card is a mi
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An hour later, I surprise the group
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Everyone Well-Known Names Less-Reco
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Outcome Goals Of the many versions
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OUTCOME GOALS Outcome goals compris
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Take Action! “Outcome Goals” An
Page 163 and 164:
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Don’t just follow advice. Follow
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diff erence between the fi rst time
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About Only Connect Consulting, Inc.
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assessment of preference, 14-19 beh
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164 INDEX kinesthetic approach to n
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promotion, at job, 97 public librar
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Your Fearless Author A resident of
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Berrett-Koehler is an independent p
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