Index of

Folding your opposite arm on top is easier for some people than
others. An ambidextrous person may have no diffi culty at all with this
exercise. Similarly, a centrovert, someone who borders between introvert
and extrovert, will fi nd it relatively easy to fl ex his style. It does
not take much eff ort for a centrovert to relate to or speak the same
language as an extrovert. An introvert on the far end of the spectrum
needs to put more eff ort into fl exing her style.
Remember that temperament indicates one’s preference, not
one’s ability. Another similarity between this experiment and fl exing
your communication style is that it gets easier. If fl exing your style
matt ers enough to you, you can learn to fold your opposite arm on
top—literally and fi guratively.
84 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE NETWORKING
Notes From the Field
Flex for Success
Tanya is a highly-regarded executive vice president in a Fortune 100
company. She has remained loyal to her company, working her way
steadily and comfortably up the corporate ladder. During an economic
downturn, however, the company made it clear that regardless
of one’s role, all executives were expected to bring in business. Tanya
had always been uncomfortable soliciting business and had never done so in the past.
She decided to just continue her current path of high performance in her normal role.
As months passed she began to recognize the necessity of facing her reluctance to
network and sell services. Did she force herself to double her social network, join in
on all offi ce socializing, start eating lunch with colleagues, and attend weekly industry
events? No.
Her carefully executed strategy was a direct departure from traditional networking
wisdom. She methodically reviewed her contacts, selecting a single person to approach;
a graduate school friend, Mark. She spoke with Mark one-on-one and mentioned that
it would mean a lot to her to arrange a meeting to discuss collaboration between their
two businesses. She realized she sincerely believed Mark would also benefi t from the
alliance, and this conviction came across in the meeting.
Upon reporting her progress to the executive team, she was met with astonishment.
It turned out that for years her company had wanted to forge a relationship with
Mark’s company and could never get in the door. A few months later her eff ort paid
off far beyond any expectations. Multimillion-dollar contracts were in place, and she is
certain beyond a doubt this has been her single biggest contribution to the company in
twenty-three years.