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Who looks outside, Dreams. Who looks inside, Awakens. DEVORA ZACK networking for people who hate networking A FIELD GUIDE —Carl Jung FOR INTROVERTS, THE OVERWHELMED, AND THE UNDERCONNECTED
Networking for People Who Hate Networking Copyright © 2010 by Devora Zack All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. 235 Montgomery Street, Suite 650 San Francisco, California 94104-2916 Tel: (415) 288-0260, Fax: (415) 362-2512 www.bkconnection.com Ordering information for print editions Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the “Special Sales Department” at the Berrett-Koehler address above. Individual sales. Berrett-Koehler publications are available through most bookstores. They can also be ordered directly from Berrett-Koehler: Tel: (800) 929-2929; Fax: (802) 864-7626; www.bkconnection.com Orders for college textbook/course adoption use. Please contact Berrett-Koehler: Tel: (800) 929-2929; Fax: (802) 864-7626. Orders by U.S. trade bookstores and wholesalers. Please contact Ingram Publisher Services, Tel: (800) 509-4887; Fax: (800) 838-1149; E-mail: customer .service@ingram publisher services .com; or visit www .ingram publisher services .com/ Ordering for details about electronic ordering. Berrett-Koehler and the BK logo are registered trademarks of Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. First Edition Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-60509-522-6 PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-60509-607-0 IDPF e-book ISBN 978-1-60509-941-5 2010-1 Designed and produced by Seventeenth Street Studios. Illustrations by Jeevan Sivasubramaniam and Jeremy Sullivan. Copy editing by Kristi Hein. Cover design by Susan Malikowski. Cover photography by Jan Will and Ben Goode, 123RF.
Page 2 and 3: More Praise for Networking for Peop
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Page 11 and 12: viii CONTENTS Acknowledgments 157 A
Page 13 and 14: school as like trying to learn Lati
Page 15 and 16: Introverts, the overwhelmed, and th
Page 19 and 20: Th ese people have no idea what it
Page 21 and 22: From a young age, introverts receiv
Page 23 and 24: Identical actions can spring from d
Page 25 and 26: TEMPERAMENT ASSESSMENT Each number
Page 27 and 28: Strength of Preference Let’s begi
Page 29 and 30: extrovert, but my results say I’m
Page 33 and 34: Labels such as shy and outgoing hav
Page 35 and 36: Quiet Shy Insecure Detached Awkward
Page 37 and 38: Guiding Principle Supporting Techni
Page 39 and 40: Introverted networking requires a d
Page 41 and 42: A FEW BENEFITS OF INTROVERSION ■
Page 43 and 44: Take Action! “Th e Other Half”
Page 45 and 46: PATTER Extroverts slide into networ
Page 47 and 48: HAZARDS OF EXTROVERSION ■ Poor fo
Page 49 and 50: Saber-Toothed Tigers and You You en
Page 51 and 52: CATASTROPHIC THINKING Notes From th
Page 53 and 54: 42 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE N
Page 55 and 56:
Event(s) My Perceptions and Negativ
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Tips are in order. 1. Th e brain ca
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If you consider yourself overwhelme
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Connecting versus Collecting Succes
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Understanding that I, as an introve
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THE QUESTION OF QUESTIONS If you ar
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Joining groups, associations, and t
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Notes From the Field In the Spotlig
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Networking events are those special
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efi ts of fashion versus the value
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me to check for att endance of thos
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Pace Focus on others. To many, inte
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■ I’ve enjoyed our conversation
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email. Or copy in the headline and
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privacy personally, do you? Conside
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Th e Platinum Rule Th e golden rule
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Assuming others will meet us where
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dashes over and gives Rachel an aff
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approximates the diff erence in eff
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Folding your opposite arm on top is
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WHAT YOU SEE AND WHAT YOU GET Perso
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I have good news and bad news, and
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You are at your best when you’re
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DOES NO MEAN NO? Perhaps your caref
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is fond of announcing, “If you mu
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1. Accept who you are. You already
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Kind gestures set you apart in the
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Th e natural progression from the s
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You’re on Candid Camera What a gr
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Are You Really Underconnected? Soci
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Super [as prefi x]: over and above;
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Th e fl ip side is the halo eff ect
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scenario—you fi nd yourself on an
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What accomplishments make you most
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Notes From the Field Calibration In
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Me I’m Interested Not Sure Th em
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Pause Let’s talk about your next
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conversation. I was not interested,
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Process Business trips can be tough
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GOOD E: Hey, you’re joining us to
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Without proper preparation, you wou
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“I started my own garden and aspi
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What if you behaved as if your beli
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Again and again I have seen the sur
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Next, invite people to call out ide
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others, and each place card is a mi
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An hour later, I surprise the group
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Everyone Well-Known Names Less-Reco
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Outcome Goals Of the many versions
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OUTCOME GOALS Outcome goals compris
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Take Action! “Outcome Goals” An
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Don’t just follow advice. Follow
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diff erence between the fi rst time
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About Only Connect Consulting, Inc.
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assessment of preference, 14-19 beh
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164 INDEX kinesthetic approach to n
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promotion, at job, 97 public librar
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Your Fearless Author A resident of
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Berrett-Koehler is an independent p
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