Index of

sensibilities. Now that I have integrated the platinum rule into my life,
I respond with humor, and even gratitude, to these same diff erences.
Be a Sleuth. Reframe yourself as a detective, always on the lookout
for clues. People bombard us with cues about how their minds
work, how they function, and how they like to be treated. Tuning into
verbal and nonverbal cues enables us to calibrate our communication,
upping the likelihood of a positive response. You can practice fi netuning
your ability to pick up on communication clues anywhere you
go. A side benefi t is you never again have to be bored at a meeting or
in a line. Just soak it all in.
Respect. While facilitating seminars and retreats, I notice how
frequently the concept of respect comes into the group discussions.
Participants implore:
■ We need to respect each other more!
■ She doesn’t respect me.
■ No one respects each other enough around here.
■ It is obvious he isn’t respectful to others.
What is going on around here? Are all humans inherently disrespectful?
No. Th e problem is more fundamental—and easily solved—
than that.
Respect is a vague, non-measurable concept. Respect is not easily
defi ned. People are multi-dimensional. Even considering only the
introvert-extrovert continuum, we can identify problems with the
notion that respect is objective.
Let’s say Rachel is out on personal leave for two weeks. An extroverted
co-worker, Marissa, wishes to express respect for her acquaintance.
She employs the golden rule, treating Rachel as she would want
to be treated. When Rachel re-emerges in the workplace, Marissa
GOOD-BYE GOLDEN RULE 79