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CHAPTER THREE the destruction <strong>of</strong> stereotypes Whaddaya Know? Quiz Dare to be yourself. —Andre Gide True or False: 1. Introverts are shy. 2. Extroverts are outgoing. 3. Introverts can be “fi xed” by learning extroverted traits. Answer: 1. False 2. False 3. False 21
Labels such as shy and outgoing have no direct correlation with introversion and extroversion. Th ere are outgoing introverts (right here!) and extroverts who identify with shyness. High-functioning introverts, centroverts, and extroverts all have a bulky toolbox <strong>of</strong> behaviors at their disposal . . . and nobody is being “fi xed.” If you’re in a hurry, peruse this handy chart provided for your exclusive use: Introverts Extroverts ■ Inner directed ■ Th ink to talk ■ Energize alone ■ Enjoy few stimuli ■ Need concentration ■ Focus on thoughts and ideas ■ Prefer one-on-one discussion ■ Value privacy Everybody else, let’s take a fi eld trip to . . . INTROVILLE AND EXTROLAND Unbeknownst to the general public, two divergent cultures live among us. Although not distinguishable by gender, age, race, ethnicity, physical abilities, or height, they are entirely diff erent species. Th ese two civilizations have some variations within their societies, yet retain distinct customs and rituals. Th ose from Introville can be identifi ed by a propensity to vanish alone and make their fi nest decisions while staring aimlessly out a 22 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE NETWORKING ■ Outer directed ■ Talk to think ■ Energize with others ■ Enjoy simultaneous stimuli ■ Need diversions ■ Focus on people and events ■ Prefer group discussion ■ Value public sharing
Page 2 and 3: More Praise for Networking for Peop
Page 4: networking for people who hate netw
Page 7 and 8: Networking for People Who Hate Netw
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Page 11 and 12: viii CONTENTS Acknowledgments 157 A
Page 13 and 14: school as like trying to learn Lati
Page 15 and 16: Introverts, the overwhelmed, and th
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Page 19 and 20: Th ese people have no idea what it
Page 21 and 22: From a young age, introverts receiv
Page 23 and 24: Identical actions can spring from d
Page 25 and 26: TEMPERAMENT ASSESSMENT Each number
Page 27 and 28: Strength of Preference Let’s begi
Page 29 and 30: extrovert, but my results say I’m
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Page 35 and 36: Quiet Shy Insecure Detached Awkward
Page 37 and 38: Guiding Principle Supporting Techni
Page 39 and 40: Introverted networking requires a d
Page 41 and 42: A FEW BENEFITS OF INTROVERSION ■
Page 43 and 44: Take Action! “Th e Other Half”
Page 45 and 46: PATTER Extroverts slide into networ
Page 47 and 48: HAZARDS OF EXTROVERSION ■ Poor fo
Page 49 and 50: Saber-Toothed Tigers and You You en
Page 51 and 52: CATASTROPHIC THINKING Notes From th
Page 53 and 54: 42 NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE N
Page 55 and 56: Event(s) My Perceptions and Negativ
Page 57 and 58: Tips are in order. 1. Th e brain ca
Page 59 and 60: If you consider yourself overwhelme
Page 61 and 62: Connecting versus Collecting Succes
Page 63 and 64: Understanding that I, as an introve
Page 65 and 66: THE QUESTION OF QUESTIONS If you ar
Page 67 and 68: Joining groups, associations, and t
Page 69 and 70: Notes From the Field In the Spotlig
Page 71 and 72: Networking events are those special
Page 73 and 74: efi ts of fashion versus the value
Page 75 and 76: me to check for att endance of thos
Page 77 and 78: Pace Focus on others. To many, inte
Page 79 and 80: ■ I’ve enjoyed our conversation
Page 81 and 82: email. Or copy in the headline and
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privacy personally, do you? Conside
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Th e Platinum Rule Th e golden rule
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Assuming others will meet us where
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dashes over and gives Rachel an aff
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approximates the diff erence in eff
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Folding your opposite arm on top is
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WHAT YOU SEE AND WHAT YOU GET Perso
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I have good news and bad news, and
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You are at your best when you’re
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DOES NO MEAN NO? Perhaps your caref
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is fond of announcing, “If you mu
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1. Accept who you are. You already
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Kind gestures set you apart in the
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Th e natural progression from the s
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You’re on Candid Camera What a gr
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Are You Really Underconnected? Soci
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Super [as prefi x]: over and above;
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Th e fl ip side is the halo eff ect
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scenario—you fi nd yourself on an
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What accomplishments make you most
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Notes From the Field Calibration In
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Me I’m Interested Not Sure Th em
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Pause Let’s talk about your next
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conversation. I was not interested,
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Process Business trips can be tough
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GOOD E: Hey, you’re joining us to
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Without proper preparation, you wou
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“I started my own garden and aspi
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What if you behaved as if your beli
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Again and again I have seen the sur
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Next, invite people to call out ide
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others, and each place card is a mi
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An hour later, I surprise the group
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Everyone Well-Known Names Less-Reco
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Outcome Goals Of the many versions
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OUTCOME GOALS Outcome goals compris
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Take Action! “Outcome Goals” An
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Don’t just follow advice. Follow
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diff erence between the fi rst time
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About Only Connect Consulting, Inc.
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assessment of preference, 14-19 beh
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164 INDEX kinesthetic approach to n
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promotion, at job, 97 public librar
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Your Fearless Author A resident of
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Berrett-Koehler is an independent p
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