Seventeen years among the Sea Dyaks of Borneo; a ... - Sabrizain.org

122 MAURIAGE
the proceedings is for the man to make known his wishes
to his own parents, and then a visit is paid by the man's
relatives and friends to the girl's parents to request
formally the hand of their daughter in marriage. This
consent is seldom refused, because as a rule the parents
of the girl approve of her choice, or they would not have
allowed her to receive visits from the man.
There is a great deal of discussion, sometimes lasting
for days, as to where the married couple are to live after
the wedding ceremony. The wife does not always leave
her home to go and live with her husband. As often as
not the man takes up his abode in the house of his wife's
relations. Many matters are taken into consideration in
deciding where they are to live. If the daughter be an
only child, her parents generally make it a condition of
that the son-in-law should come and live with
marriage,
them, and work for them, but where the girl has many
brothers and sisters, and the man has not, she is allowed
to go and live in his house. Then, again, the question of
social standing comes in, and if a girl marries beneath
her she refuses to go to the house of her husband, and
expects him to come to her.
When everything has been satisfactorily arranged, and
the consent of the girl's parents has been obtained, a day
is fixed for the marriage ceremony.
The day before the wedding is spent by the bridegroom
in obtaining a plentiful supply of betel-nut, sireh leaf
(a species of pepper) lime, gambier, etc.— all necessary
concomitants for the guests to chew during the pro-
ceedings connected with the marriage ceremony.
The wedding may take place either at the house of the
bride, or else at that of the bridegroom. Generally it is
held in the house in which the newly married couple do