Seventeen years among the Sea Dyaks of Borneo; a ... - Sabrizain.org

MARRIAGE 12U
conjugal affection is rare among the Dyaks. On the con-
trary, a great deal of it exists, and the men very often
love their wives and think a great deal of their opinion.
They will not decide upon any important course of action
without consulting them. Where there are children, the
husbands very often help their wives in doing more than
their share of the man's work, and I have often seen the
men nursing and fondling their naked babies when the
mothers were busy.
Dyaks who have come in contact with civilization, and
who have been to school themselves, see the advantages
of being educated, and I know of a Dyak in Saribas who
married a young wife and sent her to the Society for the
Propagation of the Gospel in Foreign Parts Girls' School in
the capital of Sarawak (Kuching) for two years to be taught
before she came to live with him in his Dyak home.
As has been mentioned before, the parents of a woman
often tyrannize over a son-in-law who takes up his
abode with them. If the woman herself side with her
parents, it is often very unpleasant
for the husband. I
remember talking over this matter with some Dyaks at
Sebetan, and telling them that I thought, as a general
rule, it was better for husband and wife to settle between
themselves any differences they might have, without
interference from others, and I mentioned certain cases
of divorce which, I said, I felt sure would not have come
about except for the interference of the mothers-in-law,
who behaved foolishly and caused mischief. Then I
turned round to one of the men present, and said :—
" You have lived for many years with your wife's
relatives, and you seem to be happy enough. You are
one of the few who have had no differences with the
relatives of their wives, and live happily in spite of
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