Seventeen years among the Sea Dyaks of Borneo; a ... - Sabrizain.org

MARRIAGE 131
chief, and was often criticizing my work. I said little,
but when she called me the '
'
dead body of a man (bangkai
orang) it was more than I could stand, and when she
went on to say that I might just as well return to my
people if I was not going to work, I packed up my clothes
and returned to my parents.
' ;
After a few days my mother-in-law came to the house
of my parents to ask me to return with her. I refused to
do so, because, I said, I was not sure what sort of reception
I should get from my wife. She said that she had
been sent by my wife, and that I need not fear that there
would be any unpleasantness. Still I refused to return,
and I told my mother-in-law that I would not return
unless my wife came herself to ask me."
(I may remark that it is a very unusual thing for a man
to speak in this way to his mother-in-law. She is treated
with so much respect that it is very seldom a Dyak dares
to oppose her wishes.)
"
My mother-in-law returned to her house, and a few
days after she and my wife came to fetch me. I went
back with them, and ever since I have had no serious
trouble either with my wife or mother-in-law."
I have already said that until children are born a
Dyak husband and wife often separate from each other
for very trivial reasons. After the birth of children there
is seldom a divorce except for adultery,
and even then
very often the friends and relatives try hard—sometimes
successfully —to persuade the husband and wife to live
together again for the sake of the children. This lax view
that Dyaks have of the marriage tie causes them very often
to marry without any serious consideration. Where
divorce is easy it naturally follows that marriage ceases
to be a serious matter, which ought not to be " taken in