Arbeit macht frei: - Fredrick Töben

permission to collect half-a-dozen lemons. But in hot weather there is
nothing more wholesome than a lemon drink and I wanted six more
lemons. I strolled into the grove and suddenly I heard a radio transmitter
cracklling as a Hilux zoomed up and four officers commanded me to drop
everything, meaning I had to empty my pockets of the evidence of my
crime – picking lemons.
I cursed myself for letting this incident happen only two nights before my
departure. The officers were firm and professional as they asked me to
jump in the van. Off I was to the green room where a urine test was
conducted, and I was stripped and went through the motions, including the
squat!
I remained in the holding cell for about 20 minutes before I was told to get
dressed. I was taken through the direct door to the Cell Block and marched
to my cell. It was 7 p.m., an early lock-up for me. Then the embarrassment
began with jibes and Jim, Shaun, Dan and other fellows asking, ‘What
happened?’, ‘What did you do?’, ‘Get caught?’.
By now I was tired, but luckily the punishment was not too drastic. The cell
door opened at 7 a.m. and I was again the first one out for the early
morning coffee fix. Jim was right behind me. I told him what happened. He
summed it up in a few words, ‘Your good 3 months work – all down the
drain for this’. He gave me the thumbs down, and then said, ‘It’s not fair.
Just like my record – all the good work I do counts for nothing. Fail one
piss test and you start over again!’.
I knew that I would have to face the music and do some explaining.
Edwards, Wallis, Fairly et al. were waiting for me around 8 a.m. No-one
had to ask as I readily saw from their silent expressions that I should begin;
thinking this is what the Categorical Imperative is all about, that moral
impulse to explain a transgression, to rationalise and try to understand why
I did what I did.
I could have lied and said that I was testing to see if the CTC system did
work. I deflected that idea immediately. Instead I praised the system that
had caught a transgressor. Nevertheless, they knew that I knew that they
knew that I knew that I had stuffed up 2 days before my release! But I
refused to find a scapegoat for my own frustration or to feel sorry for
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