Konrad and Alexandra (pdf) - Rolf Gross

A pained expression crossed her face. She returned to the depressing story of that
spring a year ago. "We had a bitter argument. Konrad wanted me to stay, that I would finish my
degree three months early was unimportant. His contract bound him to Tiflis until summer. I
knew I had to leave Georgia or loose my spontaneity and my hard-earned freedom to act
consciously. You are not Georgian and not a woman, maybe this is difficult for you to
understand. The female powers of Georgia are pervasive."
The train turned inland again, woods and fields flew by. Soon they would reach Lakhta.
She sighed, still deeply distressed. "I hate confrontations and attempts at burdening me with
guilt. As long as I am clear-headed, I can avoid arguments, particularly with Konrad. But I was
restless and deeply frustrated. I decided to leave Konrad. I left Otto in the care of my mother
and returned to St. Petersburg alone. It was like going into exile, all caused by my
stubbornness."
They had reached the small station. As they stood at the door waiting for the train to
stop, Vladimir with his hand on the door’s lever, she unexpectedly gave him a kiss. "Thank you
for not letting me down and accepting my ambiguous invitation."
The sun would no longer break through the clouds of the gray, overcast day, but the
opposite coastline of the Bay of Kronstadt was in sharp relief, as it sometimes happens when
the air is humid. They rode through stands of elms and white-stemmed birches that reached
down to the very edge of the motionless, leaden sea. Occasionally the island of Kronstadt with
its defense works was visible through the trees, and behind it the other shore near Petershof.
The city of St. Petersburg to the south was marked by trails of smoke from its factories that
went straight up into the sky where they fanned out to form an extended, black cloud.
They let their horses find the trail that wound back and forth through the trees following
the rocky shore.
Vladimir, begged her forgiveness, and asked sympathetically. "Did you go your own
ways during that time?"
"No, having precipitated this separation, I felt so miserable, that I completely buried
myself in my studies. I never worked so hard in my life. And Konrad is a faithful man, he saw I
was deeply unhappy."
She looked at him expectantly. "We both feel strongly, that each of us should have the
freedom to grow—limited only by our great love. But we learned that in order to use this
freedom, one has to be strong and happy and know that the other is not suffering from one’s
actions."
She had recovered her spirits and smiled at him. "And that includes my riding alone with
you through the woods of Lakhta."
Vladimir looked at her. "I admire your courage and envy you your clear head. Not many women
have both!"
A simple country inn lay before them on a bluff above the sea, the fishing village of Lisi
Nos in the distance. The inn was empty and they sat down for lunch on the verandah. It had
become warm if not sunny.
Facing him, the steady gait of her horse gone, desire flooded her. She fell into a tense
silence, nervously opening and closing her hands.
A gloomy Vladimir got up and left to settle the bill.
When he returned she was gone.
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