Konrad and Alexandra (pdf) - Rolf Gross

only to her. Also, if Joachim was only half-right, the political situation in Germany after a lost
war would be at least as disastrous as Petrograd had been.
Konrad did not contradict her cool argument, he reassured Alexandra that he would stay
with her. But this concession did not settle the matter. Alexandra, in tears, suggested that they
should send Otto to Niko in Göttingen. She had no right to tie him to her fate. Otto was
eighteen now and in eminent danger of being pressed into the army of whichever power would
control Georgia. Claudia and Niko would receive him like their own son. She would persuade
George Dadiani to pay Otto a small allowance against her inheritance from his Swiss bank
account. Otto could attend the university in Göttingen and return once times had calmed down.
Konrad, moved by her last argument, a construct to still their darkest, unmentionable
fear that they would never see Otto again, argued that Otto was old enough to handle his own
life. He, Konrad, had left home at seventeen to attend university in Berlin. She should also
think of Dato, who had been little more than sixteen when they sent him to Jena.
This did not quell Alexandra’s tears. Konrad began to realize that the reason for her
distress lay deeper. The guilt of not having given Otto enough love and care made her
miserable. He hugged her silently, and slowly Alexandra’s sobs quieted down.
Next day Konrad took Otto for a walk to prepare him for the pending decision and found
that Otto was most eager to go to Germany. Konrad mentioned his mother’s tears about losing
him, but did not burden him with their fear of never seeing him again.
Otto’s enthusiasm—he talked about Germany for several days—helped Alexandra
collect herself. She discussed the matter with Schulenburg who offered to take Otto along on
his next home-leave and issued an Imperial German passport for Otto.
"Strictly extra-legal," he said with a laugh, "but who cares. The Imperial government will
not last much longer."
To regain his balance Konrad went back to Shavnabada to turn. Persephone, who was
in her mid-sixties and had become very quiet, received him with an understanding smile.
"Konrad, I am very happy to see you among us. I heard that you spent many nights
turning at El-Zafaran’s tekke in St. Petersburg." She encouraged Konrad to dance with
the others that night, notwithstanding that he was not formally initiated and did not wear the
shroud and hat of the dervishes.
After the sema Persephone took Konrad aside and told him, "We would like to embrace
you as a member of this tekke and bestow the hat and coat on you in a small ceremony."
Konrad, moved by her sincerity, sat very quietly for a few minutes with closed eyes. It
had been a long time since his first evening in Shavnabada with Alexandra. Many times since,
he had found the turning exercises his last refuge whenever he felt off balance. He thanked her
and accepted.
Konrad’s initiation became a solemn service full of restrained, ethereal joy, a rite of
passage for Otto as much as Konrad, a thanksgiving for their safe return to Georgia, and a
welcome for their new friends. Konrad had invited Sagdulla Bakhrami and a reluctant Dato, and
Alexandra, who had consented to the ceremony with a tear in her eye, brought Christine and
Berta. Gray-haired Henri had come. Deda acted as semabashi. The melody of the neys spun a
tight consoling cocoon around the small group. Deda dressed Konrad in the long, white, skirtlike
shroud of the Sufi, and Persephone placed the high, felt hat on Konrad’s head, which
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