Konrad and Alexandra (pdf) - Rolf Gross

Count Nikolai Prshevalsky had brought back from one of his expeditions. Sophia believed she
had found the explanation of the strange colors Alexandra had seen in giving birth. They were
the same colors that distinguish the five Tibetan Buddhas in deep meditation.
Alexandra played down this seemingly far-fetched connection as a meaningless
coincidence. They were simply the colors of the rainbow. What is so special about that. But
Sophia had lent her the book, and the more she had read in it, the more intrigued she had
become. She had discovered the lotus position there and had found that it afforded her an
unprecedented spontaneity in lovemaking.
"What about the flying sensation you experienced?" asked Vladimir becoming suddenly
interested. "Does the Tibetan text explain that too?"
"No, that is still a mystery to me. It is a very heady experience, especially when I make
myself fly during lovemaking."
Vladimir lapsed into thought. Eventually he said very slowly. "I too have had such an
experience under entirely different conditions. I have never talked about it to anyone. Two
years ago I participated in a street demonstration with some of my radical friends. The
Cossacks appeared and started shooting at random into the crowd. One of my best friends
died that day. I was lucky, I only received a bullet in my shoulder. I lost a large amount of blood
and was carried to the hospital in a coma."
A shadow went over his handsome face. "The curious thing was that, although I could
not talk or move, I heard everything. I was flying high above my body looking down on it. It was
not an unpleasant state to be in, like you, I felt no pain. I heard the voices of friends and of my
mother, who were not present, and even that of my dead grandmother. They all called on me
to join them in the afterlife. My sister, later in the hospital, called me back to reality. With a
great effort I made myself wake up."
He looked questioningly at Alexandra, who had reined in her horse and stared at him. "I
suddenly understand what I experienced.´she said, "I'll might have the same sensations at my
death: part of my soul leaves the body. Should dying, making love, and giving birth be that
closely related? Could dying be a pleasurable, highly sensual experience?"
Vladimir nodded. "Yes, I think so. After this experience I lost my fear of dying. I now live
every day as if it was my last one. And you think that death, love, and birth are accompanied
by the same sensual experience, this would be an amazing insight."
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