Konrad and Alexandra (pdf) - Rolf Gross

Easter at Zedazeni
Alexandra often wondered what her mother had been like when she met Irakli. Irakli had
first met Tamara at a well-chaperoned ball in Tiflis. He was studying literature and philosophy
in St. Petersburg at the time. Tamara had been in the company of Aunt Sophia Bagrationi.
Irakli, according to the family tale, fell in love with Tamara and had not rested until Uncle
Tarkhan-Mouravi and Aunt Sophia had put in a word with Tamara’s parents. The
Chavchavadze had finally given in, and the match had been made. Since that time her father
had the idée fixe that the Chavchavadze thought that they were ‘better’ than the Dadianis.
The circumstances of their courtship, and in particular Deda’s life before her marriage
was never discussed before the children, but Alexandra had the impression that her mother
had been as unruly and nonconformist as she was. In fact, this was one of the main reasons
for the impatient resentment Alexandra felt at times towards her mother. Deda often appeared
unnecessarily severe, unforgiving, and critical of her, and Alexandra naturally felt
misunderstood.
If Tamunia-Deda had been wild and independent, her mother must have changed
dramatically after she married Irakli, because as Deda she was always careful not to question
her husband‘s paternal authority, at least not in presence of her children or any outsiders.
Did Uncle Ilia play a role in her mother’s previous life? Recently she had several times
caught indications of such a possibility. Had Tamunia-Deda been married off in order to end a
love relationship with Ilia? Now that she herself had experienced the power of passion,
Alexandra almost felt sympathy for her mother. How terrible it would have been, if her father
had disliked Konrad and would have forbidden her to see him. Even if she thought that she
would have attempted to elope with Konrad, the inevitable break with her family was
unimaginable. Maybe she would also have agreed to an arranged marriage.
Her mother was almost ten years younger than her father. In the past few years, during
which Alexandra had become more aware of her parent’s relationship, she had seen her
mother chafe under the self-imposed, conventional restraints of her marriage.
Deda often went her own ways these days, which left Irakli impatient and depressed.
Alexandra found it prudent to avoid him on such days. Her father had no part in her mother’s
meetings with Persephone. He was uncharacteristically critical of the Sufi and Shavnabada.
Instinctively, because she loved her father, she had taken his side, which had removed her
further from her mother’s confidences. Alexandra had no idea where her mother went, or what
she was doing, when she occasionally vanished for entire days.
She knew from experience that her mother would not answer direct questions
concerning her private life. On several occasions Alexandra had tried, it was not done.
Nevertheless, now that she was attempting to come to terms with her own role as a married
woman, it seemed more important to her than ever before to understand her mother’s hidden
past.
A procession of motley people walked through the night to Zedazeni, rugged shepherds
from the mountains of Chevsureti and Tusheti, many children among them. Some carried
torches, others pulled sheep up the hill. One man carried a baby in a wicker basket.
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