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Copyright © 2016 by Trevor Noah Al
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IMMORALITY ACT, 1927 To prohibit il
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RUN Sometimes in big Hollywood movi
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like bouncers at a club, and hold t
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failed her she’d use her wits. If
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you stealing our customers? Why are
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there, this little boy and his mom,
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BORN A CRIME I grew up in South Afr
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Many of the prostitutes in town wer
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he hadn’t, but once I existed he
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Traveling around the world today, I
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TREVOR, PRAY I grew up in a world r
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That’s all she did, all day, ever
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speakeasy. The shebeens were where
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using sonar. Every time she called
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praying continued. It went on for s
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CHAMELEON One afternoon I was playi
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As a kid I understood that people w
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was an ocean of black, like someone
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Before apartheid, any black South A
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and uncles had gone off to the citi
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through those. My books were my pri
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If we weren’t at school or work o
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Apartheid, for all its power, had f
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at school used overhead projectors
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She shrugged again. “So sad. I ho
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“What?” “Look, did you or did
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When I was seven years old, my moth
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I grew up in a black family in a bl
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oth. She brought them home, and I w
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They went back and forth. This woma
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ROBERT My father is a complete myst
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dad’s, where we’d watch Formula
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A bottle of Sprite. Custard with ca
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W hen Dutch colonists landed at the
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your grandfather couldn’t keep hi
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Things like that happened a lot. I
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Revenge truly is sweet. It takes yo
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A YOUNG MAN’S LONG, AWKWARD, OCCA
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Valentine’s card and the flowers
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OUTSIDER After finishing primary sc
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work for it—and I still get my br
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me the digits one by one as I wrote
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COLORBLIND At Sandringham I got to
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pedestrian out for a stroll. Once I
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“Is it David?” “No.” “Ria
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I got up onstage and Tom did some t
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There was a red Mazda that we’d h
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hair and started painting this crea
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“Are you ready?” I said. “Let
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I’d been dating a girl for over a
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GO HITLER! When I was in grade nine
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Business was booming. By matric I w
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Back then, most DJs could spin for
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someone must be the toughest guy of
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My mind was racing, trying to figur
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THE CHEESE BOYS My friend Bongani w
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settlement going on. Third, Fourth,
Page 129 and 130: In the hood, even if you’re not a
Page 131 and 132: “But who did this belong to?” I
Page 133 and 134: “Hey, let’s make a deal. We’l
Page 135 and 136: Everyone must know that your succes
Page 137 and 138: e a whole lot harder for an investm
Page 139 and 140: O nce, when I was ten years old, vi
Page 141 and 142: lesson, and now that lesson is the
Page 143 and 144: me aside and told me what I was in
Page 145 and 146: first night, everyone was giving me
Page 147 and 148: couldn’t afford anything but a st
Page 149 and 150: “I-I’m not fine, Your Honor. I
Page 151 and 152: M y favorite thing to eat as a kid,
Page 153 and 154: could lift car engines and gearboxe
Page 155 and 156: Xhosa woman no less, a culture whos
Page 157 and 158: “Respect?! You almost burned down
Page 159 and 160: She gives and gives and gives; that
Page 161 and 162: on it as well. Clients were getting
Page 163 and 164: Bramley, three neighborhoods away,
Page 165 and 166: wouldn’t happen again, but it was
Page 167 and 168: “This is all I can do,” she sai
Page 169 and 170: “Where are you now?” I said.
Page 171 and 172: times he pulled the trigger, and fo
Page 173 and 174: emergency room to give us an update
Page 175 and 176: W hen my mother was shot, so much h
Page 177 and 178: For my mother. My first fan. Thank
Page 179: ABOUT THE AUTHOR TREVOR NOAH is a c
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