THUGWISE CAT

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America against itself. Through freedom of speech and freedom of the press we will use lies to deceive voters and sensationalism and spectacle to keep them coming back for more. Because, as we both know, America so loves a scandal! Here are the initial broad strokes of my diabolical plan, but feel free to improvise with your own special brand of magnetic megalomania. 1. Stir up fear, racism and sexism in white American men who feel their privilege and power slipping away. Launch your entry into politics by promoting a meritless rumor about the validity of Obama’s birth certificate. The Tea Party will love this as it gives racism an almost patriotic patina! 2. Get the backing of Evangelical Christians. Despite their alleged allegiance to you know Who, they are a powerful and purposeful group. Best of all, we have a tremendous opportunity to use their beliefs for our own agenda. They believe the Second Coming is at hand and have a vested interest in promoting the end of the world. Who better than you, Donald, in the position of the most powerful man in the world to make that happen? You’re welcome. 3. Alienate sane, sensible and morally responsible Republican party members with divisive and bullying rhetoric. The party can be ripped apart at its roots by appealing to its most aggrieved party members with unabashed fear and hatred. 4. Parade your made-for-reality-TV family before the public to attest to your viability as a father, leader and worthy human being. A note here: I encourage you to say out loud all the inappropriate thoughts you have about your oldest daughter, Ivanka. The benefits are two-fold: 1.) It affirms your own attractiveness (because, really, could an ugly, ogre of a man father a woman so fuckable?) and 2.) a whiff of incest always appeals to America’s prurient nature and will get you even more media attention. Do you see the pattern here, my friend? Moral outrage gets attention and ultimately, votes. 5. Use “America First” as a way to allay domestic fears of globalization and sow international fears of colonization. Employ terrorist threats to demonize and dehumanize refugees and immigrants seeking peaceful refuge in America. Back this up with threatening and insinuating promises to neighboring countries and allies. Oh, and I’ll give you extra credit for warming up to Vladimir Putin. He’s already on my team and I think you’ll work well together. Terrifichuman being. 6. On the domestic front, let’s talk about dog-whistle policies like “Law and Order” to stoke the escalating tensions between police officers and communities of color. The greater the distrust we can create between the people and law enforcement, the better chance we can transform civil disobedience into civil war. Yet another example of my evil genius!—!and one I’m particularly proud of. 7. The media will make us or break us. As luck would have it, these days most people are getting their political information from social media platforms so we can easily create fake news, manipulate the truth and create a more angry and confused electorate. When questioned by detractors and/or the mainstream media, simply deny any responsibility or culpability for your words then distract them with another shocking lie. 8. Show the world you will take shit from no one. Use Twitter to promote useful fabrications and 12
silence or shame any who would dare express distrust or disagreement with you. And on that note: retweet the racist and xenophobic ideologies of hate groups as much as possible. You will see they are very faithful and dedicated followers who will promote the Trump brand with gleeful zeal. 9. Loudly label opponents, immigrants and others as criminals to gain support and distract from the fact that you have thousands of pending lawsuits ranging from fraud to sexual assault. While I commend you for your dirty deeds, they could be your Achilles heel. Play the offensive and you won’t have to play the defensive. 10. Once elected, surround yourself with aids, advisors and Cabinet members as dedicated to destruction as you. I have some people in mind already (Steve Bannon is as relentless as they get). Oh, and if you can get a climate skeptic to head the EPA, you would be doing me a huge favor. Fuck those tree-hugging communists. I won’t be satisfied until every polar bear has drowned from exhaustion in tepid bathwate That’s all for now. Once you are in office, I will be contacting you with the next steps of my unholy plan. I look forward to your election and ascension to the highest seat of human power. Together we will destroy the world by reminding people to Make America Hate Again. Sincerely psyched for total destruction, Satan 13
Page 1 and 2: THUGWISE CAT Issue 37
Page 3 and 4: EDITOR’s SCRATCHING POST: CATATON
Page 5 and 6: The Irrevocable Object of Desire by
Page 7 and 8: FROM THE BOWELS OF UNSCIENTIFIC THO
Page 9 and 10: (c) Buffalo; (d) Memphis; (e) New Y
Page 11: Satan’s Diabolical 10-Step Plan f
Page 15 and 16: NUKE BRIGHT TOOTHPASTE Unlike those
Page 17 and 18: against them. They are shown favori
Page 19 and 20: DRONE DRAMA: Music for the Dead By
Page 21 and 22: Nineteen Ways GLOBALLY INTEGRATED C
Page 23 and 24: 17. During World War II, some major
Page 25 and 26: In a private business only the owne
Page 27 and 28: THUGWISE VERSE 28
Page 29 and 30: she wears welts as small ornaments,
Page 31 and 32: dreams of that wicked man who stole
Page 33 and 34: Artwork by Marcia Arrieta Artist bi
Page 35 and 36: The stories are gouging a hole in y
Page 37 and 38: Temple By David Mac this temple war
Page 39 and 40: [Then of forest paths diverge and k
Page 41 and 42: I'm the sickening edges of a chocol
Page 43 and 44: 43
Page 45 and 46: So I pace some more And reason That
Page 47 and 48: Dark and Stormy By Katy Lasell Past
Page 49 and 50: what happens follows logically by T
Page 51 and 52: TWO POEMS by R. Riekki Author bio:
Page 53 and 54: the rent is eating my bones the Chr
Page 55 and 56: 57
Page 57 and 58: Went Over To Poe’s Place By Frank
Page 59 and 60: THE DAY DAVID BOWIE DIED By Kurt Kl
Page 61 and 62: Two Poems By Patrick Hurley 61
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Two Poems By Marie C Lecrivain Auth
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two second class citizens not part
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King of Batons By Adam Scharf Firew
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Tripsis By Timothy Adams Fire lame
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down the streets and preach about m
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of the rabbit foot charms a feminin
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Cheshire By Zara Hanif I would like
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The Ghost of Plato By Greg Wallace
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Two POEMS By Marcia Arrieta hardly
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or i end ‘n she begin this twin
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Rummult Stars By Jay Jurisich typho
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I do it every week. Its cover scoff
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Three Photomanipulations By Erica O
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Ants By Judith Huang The first thin
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Two Poems By Bob Heman from THE SER
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Postmodern Times Square Lurking beh
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Looking toward the continuation of
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applies. To the song hearing me! th
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a rhythm of healing conversations D
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My mood is more of itself each morn
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paradigm elation. Music is a now on
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Photos by David J. Thompson 103
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The Zombies of Bigotry: "Get Out" S
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107
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Tenebrae, in Heller's poetic univer
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"cancellation's triumph," and, sadl
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I'm Not A Plastic Bag by Rachel Hop
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Paterson in Paterson (Film Review)
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astute sounds and rad rhymes. On it
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The Zen of Innocence (Book Review)
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Homage to Kurt Schwitters 120
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Imagine Not Drowning by Kelli Allen
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The last line is the collection’s
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