Uncle Andy's Digest - March 2021

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Out ‘n Aboutat Call of theWild RV CenterFor their Open HouseI needa time out. Sendme camping anddon’t let me comeback until myattitudechanges.I got my husband a new high-tech knife for our anniversary.He loves the cutting edge technology.The Fortin GroupProudly serving the communities ofLewiston and Auburn for over 100 years.The cost of living keeps going up.The cost of your funeral doesn’t have to.Pre-plan now and your cost will be locked in.AUBURN217 Turner Street207-783-8545LEWISTON70 Horton Street207-784-4584Derek SheltonOut ‘n About atLuiggi’s25 yearsis impressive!CongratulationsUncle Andy’sDigest! It’s been agreat quarter centuryof laughs andsupporting localbusinesses likeLuiggi’s!Angie St. HilaireOwnerI constantly dream about the color blue. But it’s just a pigment of my imagination.DON’T KNOWWHAT TO DONEXT? WE DO. ®For any disaster,call ServiceMaster!WATER FIRE MOLD29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn(800) 244-7630(207) 539-4452 www.smfireandwater.comwww.smcarpetcleaning.comUncle Andy’s Digest ...withJimbo18 March 2021 783-7039I’m so lonely that I drive around town with my coffee cupglued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
My obsession with visiting different hardware stores has me hitting new Lowe’s.Everyone is alittle Irish...when eating a Heidi’s CornedBeef Sandwich or Reuben600 Turner St. Auburn207-784-3434heidisauburn.com415 Philbrook Ave. So. Portland207-773-4800heidissouthportland.comOnline orderingand curbside pickupavailable atHeidisbrooklyndelime.comMarriageRetreatSubmitted by Tyla DavisWhile away on vacation,Jimbo and his wife,Sue, decided to take afew days and attend amarriage retreat.During one particularportion of the retreat,the lecturer was talkingabout being in-tune withyour partner’s favoritethings.“You sir,” the lecturercalled out to Jimbo,“how well do you knowyour wife and what sheis fond of?”“Well, I think I know herpretty well. We’ve beenmarried for 27 years.”Milk is the fastest liquid on earth. It’s pasteurized before you even see it.We’ve got you covered!Think Spring!“Then this next questionshould be an easy onefor you,” the lecturerresponded.“Give it your best shot,”Jimbo confidentlyreplied.“What is your wife’sfavorite flower?” thelecturer asked.“Oh that’s easy. It’sGold Medal AllPurpose.”Romance isDeadSubmitted by JimboTHE CHAMPOUX GROUPCHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERSI N S U R A N C E...Your Security is Our Concern!Locally Owned & Operated Since 1999207-783-2246 • 150 East Ave. Lewiston • MaineInsuranceonline.comMy wife said she wanted to eat at the most expensive place in town,so I brought her to the airport.He claimed he lovedher, but would not giveup his life for her.That is, he declared,his undying love forher.Uncle Andy’s Digest...withJimboMarch 2021 UncleAndys.com 19
Page 1 and 2: UNCLEANDY’SDIGEST SINCEDAILY, WEE
Page 3 and 4: To everyone that received a book fr
Page 5 and 6: 2021 is going more viral than anyon
Page 7 and 8: My husband and I have a magical rel
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLCranberry WalnutChicken S
Page 11 and 12: MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSEEVERY MONDAY
Page 13 and 14: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESWANTED: Year Ro
Page 15 and 16: The archaeologist’s whole career
Page 17: If you see a toilet in your dreams,
Page 21 and 22: I’m somewhat skeptical that you
Page 23 and 24: They are giving away free money at
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Page 27 and 28: Every day I stress to my kids the i
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Page 35 and 36: My doctor told me my sugar was too
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Page 39 and 40: Let theShenanigans BeginMarch into

Uncle Andy's Digest - March 2021

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