Uncle Andy's Digest - March 2021

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HomeworkHelpSubmitted by Jimbo“Dad,” said Little Johnny,“I’m late for footballpractice. Would youplease do my homeworkfor me?”The father said irately,“Son, it just wouldn’tbe right.”“That’s okay,” repliedLittle Johnny, “but youcould at least give it atry, couldn’t you?”Technically if you don’t cut the cake and eat it with a fork, you’ve only had one piece.Monday - Saturday 11a-9p47 Broad Street, Auburnwww.firehouseauburn.com207-376-4959HAPPY HOURMonday-Friday2p-5pWING WEDNESDAY75¢ OFF(dine in only)BURGER MONDAY$2 OFFMay yourglass everbe full!March DrinkSpecialIrish Mule$9I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could counterfeit money I wouldn’t be at Dollar Tree.Out ‘n About in the Digest from the 2006 archivesReminiscing through our 25 years!Community Credit UnionServing our Members and Community for 75 years!Lewiston • Auburn • Turnerwww.communitycreditunion.com 207.783.2096Ian Barclay, Dirty McCurdyUncle Andy’s Digest ...with22As I get older, I think of all the people I’ve lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.WeatherCheckSubmitted by Steve SimardThe sky was lookingominous so I askedSiri, “Surely, it’s notgoing to rain today?”Siri replied, “Yes itis, and don’t call meShirley.”That was when I realizedI’d left my phoneon Airplane mode.JimboMarch 2021 783-7039Visit with theEASTER BUNNYMarch 25th - April 3rd(In the Auburn Mall – by Appointment Only)The Easter Bunnywill be hoppinginto town!Call for details!ALSO OFFERINGEaster mini sessions fromMarch 1st - April 3rdwww.creativeonesphotography.com orCall 207-333-9844Our local water bottle factory has gone into liquidation.
They are giving away free money at a place called “work.”Just go there, follow simple instructions, and you can get some!Out ‘n About atSchemengeesBar & Grillefor their Pool LeagueAPRIL 16-18Kora Shrine Center11 Sabattus StreetLewiston, MEKora ShrinerSI willdefinitely needto do someGyrotonic work afterall this bending! Readall about Gyrotonics andwhat I do in the Springissue of LA MetroMagazine, comingout in April!sportsmen expo• Online Raffle20 (+) Sportsmen Packages to be RaffledOnline Raffle runs Sat, April 10 – Sun, April 18In-Person Raffle viewing at Kora Shrine TBD• EntertainmentMr. Drew & His Animals TooTirdy WorksGary Crocker• DemonstrationsFOR MOREINFO VISITKORASHRINERS.ORG/SPORTSMEN• Youth Hunter Safety CourseBill KnightI wonderwho’s going to shootnext? Find out afterthe break!Ed LizotteBILL GREENGuest Speakersto include!Great job announcing,Ed. You’reright on cue!Eric NewellPeople said I’d never get over my obsession with Phil Collins, but take a look at me now.Uncle Andy’s Digest...withJimboMarch 2021 UncleAndys.com 23
Page 1 and 2: UNCLEANDY’SDIGEST SINCEDAILY, WEE
Page 3 and 4: To everyone that received a book fr
Page 5 and 6: 2021 is going more viral than anyon
Page 7 and 8: My husband and I have a magical rel
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLCranberry WalnutChicken S
Page 11 and 12: MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSEEVERY MONDAY
Page 13 and 14: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESWANTED: Year Ro
Page 15 and 16: The archaeologist’s whole career
Page 17 and 18: If you see a toilet in your dreams,
Page 19 and 20: My obsession with visiting differen
Page 21: I’m somewhat skeptical that you
Page 25 and 26: OXFORD HILLS AREA BUSINESSESOut ‘
Page 27 and 28: Every day I stress to my kids the i
Page 29 and 30: The man trampled by a large group o
Page 31 and 32: If every citizen owned a horse, thi
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Page 35 and 36: My doctor told me my sugar was too
Page 37 and 38: $75-99,99924.7%$100-124,999 11%17%M
Page 39 and 40: Let theShenanigans BeginMarch into

Uncle Andy's Digest - March 2021

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