Uncle Andy's Digest - March 2021

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On the LamSubmitted by Tyla DavisRonnie’s elementaryschool class went ona field trip to the localpolice department.While on their tour, thepolice officer showingthem around pointedout a wall of photos.“Kids, this is our 10most wanted fugitives.These are the menand woman who havedone some really badthings and are now onthe run from the law.”Ronnie raised his handand when he was acknowledged,he asked,“So all of these photosare people you arelooking to arrest, butyou haven’t managedto catch them yet?”“You are right, youngman,” the officer said.“We want very badly tobring these folks intocustody.”“Then why didn’tyou just arrest themwhen you took theirpictures?”OXFORD HILLS AREA BUSINESSESWE’RE HERE WITH GREAT DEALS!• VIDEOS, GAMESPA’S• TOOLS• ICE FISHING SUPPLIESTRADIN’• FURNITURECOMPANY Inc.BUY • SELL • TRADEPAWNFederal Licensed Firearms Dealer1447 Main Street, OxfordOnly 25 Minutes fromAuburn & GrayOpen Mon-Sat. 9am - 5pm207-743-0709 or1-877-743-0709Gun Background Checks/TransfersFire Arms Transfers $ 25/eachMy favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.POLLY’S VARIETY115 King Street • OxfordCALL AHEADFOR ORDERS!Take out window availableVoted one ofMaine’s BestPizza Places!2016 WMTWFacebook Fan pollNo More CrackersPolly W ants PizzaPizza Ham Italian Special Greek Salad207-539-8254www.pollysvariety.com• & MUCH MORE!BUYING GUNS!Use your tax returns topurchase quality itemsat bargain pricingNEW ARRIVALSRifles & GunsMarchSpecial3 HamItalians$15 .99Expires03/31/2021Monday - Tuesday: 5:30am - 7:00pm • Wednesday - Saturday: 5:30am - 8:00pm • Sunday: 6:00am - 7:00pmA handful of athletes were disqualified from the tournament after testing positive for WD-40. The rest squeaked by.F ind Y ourselfin places no one else canOFFERINGResidentialCommercialClean OutsRoll Offs844-ME-TRASH844-638-7274CALL OF THE WILDRV CENTER848 Main Street, Oxford207-539-4410www.callofthewildrv.comThe only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service!SERVINGOxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/PolandBridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com
OXFORD HILLS AREA BUSINESSESOut ‘n About at Polly’s VarietyI lovethis town.Pollywants what’son my shirt.Justin Campbell, Agent1570 Main Street Suite 2AOxford, ME 04270Bus: 207-539-5095www.oxfordhillsinsurance.comThanks, Oxford Hills.I love being here to helpin a community wherepeople are making adifference every day.Thank you for all you do.2007004 State Farm, Bloomington, ILJen WilsonHarlow’s Helping Hands, LLCProfessional • Friendly • Fully InsuredHOUSEHOLDHANDYMANNo Job Too Small!Kevin L. Harlow207-776-2416 • harlowhh@yahoo.comCall foryour quotetoday!Light toModerateJobsRemember tosupport local businesseswhen you’reOut ‘n About withyour Irishshenanigans!My wife got me a book called A Guide to Surgical Procedures.It was missing its appendix though.Uncle Andy’s Digest...withJimboMarch 2021 UncleAndys.com 25
Page 1 and 2: UNCLEANDY’SDIGEST SINCEDAILY, WEE
Page 3 and 4: To everyone that received a book fr
Page 5 and 6: 2021 is going more viral than anyon
Page 7 and 8: My husband and I have a magical rel
Page 9 and 10: HAS IT ALLCranberry WalnutChicken S
Page 11 and 12: MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSEEVERY MONDAY
Page 13 and 14: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESWANTED: Year Ro
Page 15 and 16: The archaeologist’s whole career
Page 17 and 18: If you see a toilet in your dreams,
Page 19 and 20: My obsession with visiting differen
Page 21 and 22: I’m somewhat skeptical that you
Page 23: They are giving away free money at
Page 27 and 28: Every day I stress to my kids the i
Page 29 and 30: The man trampled by a large group o
Page 31 and 32: If every citizen owned a horse, thi
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Page 35 and 36: My doctor told me my sugar was too
Page 37 and 38: $75-99,99924.7%$100-124,999 11%17%M
Page 39 and 40: Let theShenanigans BeginMarch into

Uncle Andy's Digest - March 2021

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