Kill Switch by Penelope Douglas

He would’ve been gone forever.
“Fucking kill me,” he said, his voice even and suddenly
calm.
“No.”
“Kill me. You’re going to have to.”
I shook my head.
He grabbed me by the collar, screaming, “Do it!”
And I grabbed his neck in my hands, ramming him into the
wall of the pool house. “I can’t!”
He grunted, breathing hard, and I dropped my forehead to
his, unable to swallow the fucking needles in my throat.
“Fuck, I can’t,” I whispered. “Please, stop. Please.”
“I can’t,” he mouthed, and tears streamed down his face. “I
can’t.”
I moved my hands to his face, just holding him, and ready
to say so much, because I never had to hide anything from
him. He never saw weakness when he looked at me. I wanted
to tell him things.
I wanted to tell him that I never would’ve hurt him. That I
didn’t know what Trevor was doing, and it wasn’t supposed to
go down like that, because out of all three of my friends, Will
was the one I would always save first. That my pride and
anger wouldn’t let me retreat, and that if he had been pulled to
the ocean’s bottom, out of my reach, I would’ve followed him.
I would’ve fucking followed him and rotted down there,
close to wherever he was, because nothing I would’ve
acquired after that—my inheritance or my vengeance on
Winter—would’ve been worthwhile without him.
His breath fell on my mouth, and his wet hair behind his
head grew warm under my fingers. He needed me. I dug my
fingers into his scalp. He had to realize he needed me. No one
was going to hold him up like I would.
No one.