Kill Switch by Penelope Douglas

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“I wanted something good,” he admitted. “Beauty, maybe?The night of the pool party, the house was quiet. It was just us,but you didn’t know I was in the house, too. I watched youdance.”I remembered that night so vividly. For the two years afterthat, I’d looked back on it, excited and terrified, but also withthis weird sense of being safe in that closet with him.“You made the world look different,” he told me. “Youalways had, and it struck me as odd, because I had hated towatch my mother dance growing up. It was just someelaborate lie that I couldn’t stomach, but you…” He trailed off,searching for words. “It was pure, and it was a dream. I didn’twant to change you. I just wanted to be a part of it all. Ofeverything beautiful you were going to do.”He sat there for a moment, and everything in my bodyhurt. I didn’t realize every muscle had been tightened thiswhole time. This was the first time he’d ever said things likethis. The first time he’d ever really talked to me.“But I was still me, and I scared you that night, becausethat’s what I do,” he admitted, sounding like he hated himself.“Something amazing happened, though. You followed. Youwanted to feel that edge, too, as long as you were at my side,and for a few incredible days, I felt…”He didn’t finish the thought, but I knew what he wanted tosay. It had felt the same with me.“When it was time to come clean, I couldn’t,” he said, hisvoice growing thick. “I just wanted to stay there with you.Behind the waterfall, in the shower, in the ballroom… Juststay with you.”He rose to his feet, and the walls felt too close, and myclothes too tight, and I couldn’t get my lungs to open, becausethere was too much to take in and not enough said so manyyears ago. Why didn’t you say all of this years ago?“Nothing was a lie,” he whispered.And then he walked out, and my chest ached so badly, forair or for him, I didn’t know, but I ran to the window, yanked it
up, and drew in a lungful of air, feeling everything give way.Slip away, fade, and ease.My fear. My worry. My hatred.My anger.Why didn’t he say all that years ago?Why?
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Penelope DouglasCopyright © 2019 P
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Chapter 21Chapter 22Chapter 23Chapt
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“37 Stitches” by Drowning Pool
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“There is a reason why all things
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WinterMy ballet slipper brushes the
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All you’ve gotta say is ‘Hello
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Finally, he drops his hand and inha
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But Madame insisted we keep our ful
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Why is he in the fountain?“Damon?
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It was the last day I was me as I k
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gone this far. This was all just re
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occasion we need to play the couple
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He wasn’t calm anymore.The door o
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come home and focus on dancing, tra
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“He only married Arion because sh
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“Yeah.”“Don’t stop.” I sh
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“Excuse me?” Ethan interjected.
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It wasn’t Damon.“GGabriel?” I
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dressed in was now soft, like cotto
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before taking the cash and jewelry
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Taking the bag from her with my uni
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Images of her loose, little bun com
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her black heels, and I held in my s
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I held it up, speaking softly. “Y
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her whimper. “I just want you to
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Hiking up her skirt the rest of the
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hallway. Nausea rolled through my s
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Her. A bastard gutter rat who would
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I checked the time on my phone, see
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She came up alongside her mother an
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DamonPresent“Ten moves and you ha
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Did she like another man touching h
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her hands tucked into the pockets.
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looking down at her. “Knowing tha
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How naïve she still is. “Not eve
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They stood up, heaving sighs of agg
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I raised my eyebrows, waving the ci
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“Do you know how much Will bled i
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I winced, and I couldn’t inhale.
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laugh.She was hardly afraid of me a
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Blonde hair, blue eyes, same age, s
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“Yes, I don’t really want to ki
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box Rika had held and noticed there
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WinterSeven Years Ago“So you coul
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She must’ve seen a look on my fac
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together this afternoon, too, kind
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side, and tears sprang to my eyes a
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“GGuys, come on, leave her alone.
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Oh, my God. I let the rosary go lik
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with their eyes, their hands, their
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“Anything at all?” he pressed.
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what he was doing. And he did it an
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WinterPresent“Arms up!” Tara ca
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And she took my hands and placed th
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I wanted to see if you’d dance fo
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wedding, he could still come and go
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His body came in closer, though, fo
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I hadn’t spoken to my family much
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Holding him.In their eyes, I’d wa
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Turning on my side, I adjusted the
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“You gave your dog a Russian name
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“So, let’s go, then,” I chall
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“Fuck you!”He grabbed the back
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I jerked away from his hands. “It
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“Everyone else is gone, leaving h
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Yeah, there was an accident when we
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Will faltered a moment and then lau
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Kai sat down at the table, drinking
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She then looked at me, opened her r
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fathers in this town. The girls who
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to one side, various hesitant but s
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were family, and we had each other
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“So glad I didn’t bring Abby to
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Hope she had the good sense to be s
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wall of large windows sat to my lef
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since we were kids. Popular with a
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It wasn’t a sound I could describ
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Why wasn’t he talking?I inhaled a
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His masked voice was like a breeze
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there with you?” he asked.I knitt
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“Don’t walk away from me!” so
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I cried quietly, their voices dulle
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Then my hand knocked a model, and C
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DamonPresent“So this is Women, GG
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She was beautiful.And bright. Her d
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I swallowed. “The way…the way I
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I gripped the window frame, scowlin
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“You think you can stop me?” I
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every muscle in my gut against his
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hands were all over her, and his to
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The walls were closing in. I couldn
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I dove in, catching his bottom lip
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That’s the only way you can conne
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didn’t have to live in that cold
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My throat swelled with the vomit ri
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So I would stay the course. My moth
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WinterPresent“Where are you takin
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She had no idea what he could do. A
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“We want you,” Arion said, inte
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The voices in the next room were ba
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The chill in the air seeped through
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new haunted theme park, especially
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But everything sounded distant. The
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clothes suddenly chafing my skin. M
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jeans as it rolled over my clit. I
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WinterSeven Years Ago“Ugh, I hate
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it excited me. Because I never had
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“I don’t know,” I answered in
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When it ended, the air felt cold al
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and ready to run if I had to.His ha
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“Tall, dark, young,” I commente
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I shook my head at myself. I was ou
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in my ear made it all go away. How
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His legs shifted under me, his hand
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My shoulders relaxed just a little,
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An engine started to rumble from fa
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“No,” he growled in a loud whis
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in the car was with my sister, but
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“A friend.”I put my hands on hi
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Just maybe, it was exactly what I
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I tipped my head to the side, heari
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“She is none of your concern.”
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was AWOL. I imagined these things m
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“Do you like her?” I pressed, g
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Someone bumped into me, knocking my
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out. Arms up, feet moving from one
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“Did you have fun?” I asked, he
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I jerked my chin at Crane, and he s
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Don’t walk away. Please, I want t
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WinterSeven Years Ago“I can alway
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“Maybe his heart already belongs
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motorcycle. Or wrapped tightly in h
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I snorted but quickly got rid of my
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I inched to the right side of the h
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“You did this?” I asked, realiz
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Mommy?”“Mommy?” he repeated.
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I sucked in a breath and straighten
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I turned my face away, breathing ha
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I hated him. I hated his vile words
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I checked her bed and her lamps, he
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My heart was trying to jump out of
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smelled spacious with lots of fresh
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And I stood there, no longer wincin
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“See you soon, Winter,” he taun
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missing,” I told him. “Would yo
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I set out a bowl of food for Mikhai
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What did he see?I spaced off, feeli
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The flesh of my nipples grew taut,
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DamonPresentI leaned over the batht
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She thought she was strong. She tho
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She caresses my face and shoulders,
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She doesn’t wait for my answer, t
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And I shove her head into the mirro
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“Tell her the truth,” I said, s
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Fuckin’ Rika.“Stay,” I told C
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bouts are the only time I feel like
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“Fucking little monster,” I mut
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It kind of just came out, but I tho
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WinterFive Years Ago“All set?”
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He’d lost interest.He’d had his
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And I spun around, heading back dow
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would ever drive. Agile, fast, quic
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“Nothing,” I said again. “I d
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“Hold your legs?”Air rushed int
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I just wanted to go home.“We like
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“Oh, shit,” Miles suddenly said
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He nodded. “I show up to see you
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I was fast and clumsy, and I couldn
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Normally, I hated when people handl
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DamonFive Years AgoWe left Anderson
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“Nothing destructive,” she orde
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“So you have a sister,” she inq
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Oh, Jesus. She sounded almost hopef
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Using my shoulder to keep herself s
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front door.I braked, pressing in th
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that my obsession was a no-win situ
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“Alright,” her mother interject
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Wrapping my arm around her, I broug
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I stripped off the rest of my cloth
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“Can you be gentle?” she asked,
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She got faster and faster, started
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But she just stayed quiet, not elab
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My phone was still downstairs—hop
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etchings, making for an easier grip
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distance fading away. My hand shook
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Maybe he had another woman. Another
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I hate you.He fell into me, pushing
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It wasn’t just any night on the C
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Whatever. I was sure I’d deal wit
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A whiff of air hit my ear, followed
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But I didn’t get a chance to find
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But just then, I stepped in somethi
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My lips hovered over the mouth of h
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GGod, he felt so good. My body jerk
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How could I have just done that? Wh
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my history and women could either b
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decisions and had all the fun. Will
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Was Michael doing anything? Of cour
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And then I taunted Kai. “Still ab
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Plopping the dead weight down, I gr
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chest.He just sat there, looking do
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passion for thrills, and the same d
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you’re bad for liking it when you
Page 409 and 410: A sob escaped her, and I gripped th
Page 411 and 412: DamonFive Years AgoI blew out smoke
Page 413 and 414: Or, at least her father was out. Th
Page 415 and 416: I did anyway, though. I’d told th
Page 417 and 418: Don’t stay, I told myself. And do
Page 419 and 420: She’d looked pretty good, actuall
Page 421 and 422: “We can take what we want from yo
Page 423 and 424: “Kai,” she gasped, a shred of h
Page 425 and 426: It gets hard when I do that. That m
Page 427 and 428: I killed the lights and slowed the
Page 429 and 430: “The scars on your body…” she
Page 431 and 432: But she sighed, looking ready to cr
Page 433 and 434: “What’s the matter?” she aske
Page 435 and 436: She knew something was wrong. She w
Page 437 and 438: I tried to move toward her. “Wint
Page 439 and 440: WinterFive Years AgoMy hands shook
Page 441 and 442: the village square… All of it was
Page 443 and 444: But I’d been willing with someone
Page 445 and 446: The night was still so clear, like
Page 447 and 448: goddamn heart, because it wouldn’
Page 449 and 450: WinterPresentI sat in the theater,
Page 451 and 452: “Alex told me after the haunted h
Page 453 and 454: Had she honestly believed that shit
Page 455 and 456: I sucked in a breath as it flung op
Page 457 and 458: Take the family who left me here wi
Page 459: I put the pieces together. His dog
Page 463 and 464: But not answering the question, eit
Page 465 and 466: “Hey, it’s America.” Will lea
Page 467 and 468: Will and Kai stood up after him, ga
Page 469 and 470: It was real, and I wanted it again.
Page 471 and 472: Someone climbed the stairs behind m
Page 473 and 474: We run deep into the backyard, our
Page 475 and 476: “I did not.”God, I’m so embar
Page 477 and 478: We sit there, quiet, and observing
Page 479 and 480: “You don’t speak to him, and yo
Page 481 and 482: I just never seemed to come out of
Page 483 and 484: I wanted to fight and scream and la
Page 485 and 486: although I left my phone in Will’
Page 487 and 488: “You don’t have to sugarcoat it
Page 489 and 490: hanging in the air, and I trailed c
Page 491 and 492: caring that I was loud and clumsy.
Page 493 and 494: I kissed him, caressing his tongue
Page 495 and 496: reached around and spread my thighs
Page 497 and 498: “Why?” I asked.“Because of Wi
Page 499 and 500: instantly recognizing the Braille.M
Page 501 and 502: twice. I knew he was smart. I just
Page 503 and 504: I felt the bed, not finding her, so
Page 505 and 506: “Do you care?” he replied. And
Page 507 and 508: And then a pain hit my side under m
Page 509 and 510: I blinked away the spots in my visi
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waiting.Where was Will? Why were th
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I didn’t have time to see who was
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She laughed a little. “You wouldn
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who knew how long it would last. If
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Banks and Rika wandered about, offe
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“What are you doing?” he asked,
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Was that a dream? Where was Winter?
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Reaching down, I peeled away the su
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He laughed as Banks walked around m
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Blood trailed down the back of my h
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But she kept talking. “And he kno
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DamonPresentSince we knew my father
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He was quiet, and I looked over at
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The car jostled under us as the men
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my side started to ache, so I put m
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“You still handy with that crowba
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“Hello?” he answered.“Take an
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Winter started panting in short, sh
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My knees shook as I made my way bac
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Please.I pushed at the door.Please.
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DamonPresentWe stumbled toward the
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My jeans stuck to my skin, but the
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We all blew out, our bodies melted
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around her like she was all he had
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WinterPresentWe almost died. A half
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Will layered his lips with mine.
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My stomach rose and fell in heavy b
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The head of his cock pushed inside
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“I didn’t even think about it u
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I laid there, listening to the sile
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What were we doing in that fountain
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“Kai,” she answered quietly.
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mood.He knelt down, coming down to
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DamonPresent“Ugh, what the fuck?
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in the streets,” she bit out. “
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And then she put my mask on top.I l
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We stopped at the light, the villag
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She threw another grenade, pink smo
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I knew we’d have to take down the
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coughed and worried about staining
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We darted up the staircase, pushed
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I looked behind me at my sister who
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He lit his cigar, the puffs of smok
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wasn’t my mother in his eyes.In h
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I pulled it out and stuck it in aga
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Hours later, I’d received medical
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That was why they hadn’t taken sa
Page 605 and 606:
Moving around her, I wrapped my arm
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Marrying Ari got me into the house
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I headed past the concessions and t
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We walked around the corner of the
Page 613 and 614:
I dumped my phone back in the conso
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She was right to warn her off. To t
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This changes nothing, just don’t
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No answer, though. I sent a text, l
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make it a year and was now annulled
Page 623 and 624:
I notice she wears a tutu—everyth
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She stops biting, explaining it to
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Winter’s mouth hovered over mine,
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*This is a preview of Nightfall, th
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Bile stung my throat, every horror
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leave. Did you get left behind?”I
Page 635 and 636:
everything we need to survive, but
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Thank you for reading!And thank you
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Dear Misha,So, have I ever told you
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I go back and finish the last part,
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Well, how about a phone call then,
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And she has her fucking earbuds in,
Page 647 and 648:
I shoot my glare farther up the roa
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I glance up and nod at a guy standi
Page 651 and 652:
I feel his eyes on me, the challeng
Page 653 and 654:
I straighten my back, my chest risi
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Her hair is long and straight—not
Page 657 and 658:
He turns back to Ryen and smiles.
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on mine, and I can feel her breath
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Punk 57 is currently available on K
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To the PenDragons—you’re my hap
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Penelope Douglas is a New York Time
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