Kill Switch by Penelope Douglas

And I slipped a hand between her legs, swiping my fingers
over the fabric of her leotard, and feeling what I knew would
be there. She was seeping through. She was wet.
I brought my fingers up. “If he didn’t touch you, then is
this for me?”
She slammed me in the chest, and I stumbled back, letting
her out.
“You’re a monster. You’re no better than him,” she
growled. “You played with me. You took advantage of me not
being able to see, just like he did, and got exactly what you
wanted. You abused me.”
“Yeah.” I nodded, getting back up in her face. “Yeah, I did.
I got you any way I could. I…”
I stopped, finding myself losing control. I couldn’t say too
much.
“You wanted to be powerful,” she said. “You wanted to
win. You wanted revenge on my family and to cause pain, and
you did. You humiliated me. You wanted to humiliate me. You
wanted what you wanted, and you didn’t care about me!”
I stared at her, knowing I would never explain myself.
She thought she knew everything. She thought it was black
and white.
She thought I’d wanted to hurt her. She thought I’d meant
for people to see that video. She thought I wanted to trick her.
The only motive I had was to be around her, and if I had to
lie to get it…
I wasn’t taking responsibility for everything. She liked it.
“’I think I love you,” I said, repeating her words to me all
those years ago. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop. I want you to
be my first. It’s okay. Touch me.” I stepped up to her, invading
her space and throwing all of her shame back at her. “You’ll be
the first to kiss me here.” I flicked her ear. “And here.” I
touched her neck. “And here.” I brushed her nipple with my
thumb. “I want to feel your body on mine. Am I okay? Am I
doing it right? It feels good. Don’t stop. Oh, GGod. Oh, GGod.