Making Your First Million.pdf - Association of Net Entrepreneurs and ...

Making Your First Million
only place that welcomes you with open arms is the drive-through bottle shop, the only
place left to drink is home. And home has particular advantages. It's cheaper and it never
closes.
I was drinking again and I was going to die. But I didn't want to die. But I knew the end
result of my drinking was death. Once I'd started I couldn't stop. Previously I hadn't
wanted to stop. Prior to going to AA all I'd wanted to do was drink myself to death but
AA had given me hope. Now I was on the merry-go-round again and I knew I couldn't
get off until I was dead. But I didn't want to die. I tried to drown the rat in my head but it
had learnt to swim. Round and round. As always I was the last to leave, unable to find the
car, much less the keys, but the barmaid had called me a cab and I went home.
Lying in bed just after midnight the rat surfaced again: " I'm drinking again. I'm going to
die. I don't want to die.", when a voice came into my head: "Try prayer." And I thought:
"No way. There's no God." I knew there was no God. And the voice said: "Just as you
knew you were not an alcoholic." And the rat clamored for my attention: "I'm drinking
again. I'm going to die. I don't want to die." And the voice came again: "Try prayer." And
my head spun and I stuck my leg out of the bed and put it on the ground to stop the world
spinning. I was pretty drunk. And the rat insisted: "I'm drinking again. I'm going to die. I
don't want to die!" And the voice said: "Try prayer."
I had no answer. I knew there was no God. I knew it was all mumbo jumbo to keep the
peasants in order but I had no answer, no relief from the rat in my head and I said: "Okay.
I'll give it a go. I'll try anything once. Oh this is stupid. There's no God. I feel like an
idiot." And I lay there and said: "Okay God, if you're there, Cool Hand George here." I
was Cool Hand George. Master of my own destiny. If I wasn't happy I'd make more
money. If she wasn't happy I'd buy her a new car. I was not about to admit defeat. I ran
on raw energy and had a tightly wound spring of aggression and 'never-say-die' inside
me. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change." That was as far as I
got. The moment I dropped my guard that much the spring inside of me went tick, tick,
brrrrrrr, and unwound. And I was at peace. All stress and tension gone, And I felt
whoever or whatever this power outside of myself is, reach down and lift the burden from
me. And the voice said: "You've taken the first step. You're on your way."
Now I know I was drunk and that this episode may have simply been self-delusionary.
But the point is, this experience changed my life. The obsession to drink was taken from
me and has never returned. I went on to find the real wealth I'd been looking for in the
peace, contentment and focus this experience gave me. Up until this point I was the
master of the universe. I reveled in power, money and control. I could have anything I
wanted. But my life was fundamentally flawed. I acknowledged only that which I could
see or buy or hold in my hand. I looked at the material world as my personal playground
and the only things of value were things or people or experiences that gave me pleasure,
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