The Story Of Swami Rama - Holybook

The Story Of Swami Rama
but it seems, the philosopher in him overpowered
the faqir in him, and he died searching for the rose
that had just perfumed him so wildly. It is a pity,
he knew no living faqir of God-consciousness
greater than himself, but there were saints who
could help him subjectively, only if he had the
chance of meeting them, or a wish of
acknowledging their spiritual help.
All those who went to him in his last solitudes
were young men like myself, understanding little
about the rise and fall of the self-consciousness of a
faqir,—a mystic—who were mostly led away by
him into a dumb adoration, doing what he asked
us to do and chanting without much
understanding "I am God" " I am God"—
Shivoham! Shivokam — and who were of no use to
him whatever in rejuvenating him. Swami
Narayan, his disciple, knew him as a man too, and
he would actually take courage to argue with him,
that his physical ailments were at the bottom of
his depression, and he would actually "tease" him
by his persistent logic in those days at Vashishtha
Ashram. Neither to him, nor to me, could he
disclose his inner struggle. But a devoted disciple
and a life-long companion like Narayan knew
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